Monday, 2 February 2009

Another Misunderstanding Cleared Up

'Mummy,' announces Youngest. 'I need a Lacks.'
We had just finished a filthy lunch of pasta, very old cheese (grated to look more appealing) some ancient tomato gunk, found in depths of fridge and which I had sniffed for signs of mould, and finished off with about 17 brown looking grapes. 'Eat them up quick!' I instructed hesitant daughter briskly. 'They won't taste so bad.'
'What exactly do you mean by Lacks?' I asked Youngest, recalling Stain Day, and our little conversation.
'Well. I think I need one.'
Lacks. Lax? He didn't look very constipated. He had Gone, as it were, only hours before.
'What exactly do you do with a Lacks?' I enquired. Am getting to be Quite Good at Questioning about Unknown Areas.
Youngest roared with laughter.
No answer.
'Do you eat it?'
Gales of laughter. Great Mirth. Unable to speak for giggles.
Was not That Amused. Wanted to wash up, and get everyone Outside for Snowy Walk.
Right, I said. Everyone outside for Snowy Walk.
Youngest Not Amused any more.
'But Mummy, I must have a Lacks.'
'WHAT IS A LACKS? I shouted (very quietly, you understand.)
Youngest sighed very, very hard.
'Like you and Daddy. After lunch. You need a Lacks too.'
Light dawned.
'Re-lacks?'
'YEESSSSSSSSSS!' yelled Youngest, almost blue with frustration.
Relax.
Got it. Always do in the end.
So we all went in the Sitting Room for a Lacks. And very nice it was too.
Husband rang up as we Lacksed. What are you doing?
Having a Lacks, I said.
Oh, that's nice, he said.
Do you know what a Lacks is? I asked.
No, he said, but do I need to?
Honestly. Husbands.
Finished our Lacks now and about to venture out into Snow.
Then will Lacks for the rest of the day, I reckon. How about you?


(Post Script
Food described in this post Not Really Mouldy. Reality was a nice, de-frosted, homemade pasta sauce with our pasta, with very nice Smoked cheese (grated) with 3 day old grapes, one of which had brown specks on it, so we threw it away.
Reality a little Dull, so prone to Exaggeration. )

22 comments:

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

You're taking quite a chance experimenting with food on your children like that.

Ladybird World Mother said...

I am a little prone to a bit of Exaggeration... food was well within sell by dates, etc... just looked rather inappealing. But we are snowed in... no Cordon Bleu today.

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

I lacksed on stain day, yesterday.

Neas Nuttiness said...

Please exaggerate all you want...you are just toooooooo funny!

Catharine Withenay said...

I preferred the original food recipe: seemed much more like what we scrape together by the end of the week. If it keeps on snowing we'll have to ration the grape supply!

[Why is your spellchecker nautibut??]

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

Isn't exaggeration the spice of life? Sometimes a dull story requires a little seasoning :) Toodles...I'm off to lacks.

Google Mummy said...

there's nothing wrong with Lacks-ing with a bit of cheese and grapes! happy lacksing in the snow and please, please, please keep up with the exaggerations!

Mummy said...

You can't beat a good exaggerated lacks, I always say!

Kitty said...

I'm hoping to lacks this evening - after dishing up the pizza tea. Eating from the freezer today as snow is deterring me from shopping. Hope it snows loads overnight and the schools are closed tomorrow so we can build a seriously spiffing snowman. x

Diane said...

We had something similar for dinner last night. I'd like to say I was exaggerating. Then I had a lacks, as my tummy hurt... come to think of it, a lax might have been better ;)

Ladybird World Mother said...

laura - am very glad to hear it!! XX
NN - thank you! Will carry on in that vein then...
Catharine - nautibut!! love it. Glad to hear your food is as ghastly as ours. Quite fun though, to see what awful concoction I can make next...
Debra - seasoning is exactly what it is!! glad you know how to lacks. Important part of the day, lacks is.
GM - we have had some very happy lacksing in the snow. made a snow chicken and a snow bunny!
Mummy - there is nothing quite like it??!!
Kitty - if you make a seriously Spiffing snowman, make sure you put the pic on your blog! Have fun lacksing and all.
Diane - !!! Hope tummy is a little better today... had quiet giggle though!

Troy said...

This morning I climbed Mount Everest. After a quick lunch in Tibet flew down to the Maldives for a spot of scuba diving. Swan with a school of whales - it was brilliant. Surfed on a tsunami (sorry rather tasteless but necessary transport) to Kenya and had an evening big game hunting. May now relax a few days before my Space Shuttle mission. So you think YOU can exaggerate?

imbeingheldhostage said...

Ok, I was feeling pretty good about the meals I've come up with lately until you admitted you embellished! Great, now I have to feed my kids healthy stuff. I just try to stay lacksed you know?

Miss Ky came to me with a word yesterday that sounded remarkabley like a swear word. So I made her repeat it, three or four times while the children giggled (I just wanted to know what she was trying to say). Then I find out, she was trying to say the swear word. One of my lovely boys taught it to her.

Jane said...

Silly me - the award is now on the blog!

Malc said...

All husbands operate on a need-to-know basis - life's complicated enough, after all.

How is the snow? It was lovely and sunny here in the North today.

Robynn's Ravings said...

I'm in love with your baby boy! "Lax" and "Stain" will stick with me. I always meant to comment on "Stain" but felt my stalking was reaching epic proportions so rethought.

Oh WHAT would we do without these entertaining children?! They are so dear.

Glad to see a mutual friend dropped by and signed up to follow! Yay! She's wonderful.

The weather sounds miserable there but can't wait to see how you'll exaggerate all the facts and make me laugh. I'm counting on you for extreme hyperbole!

Mud in the City said...

I could do with a Lacks.

Snowy London commutes are distinctly non-lacksing!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - !! school of whales indeed. We KNOW it was only 3. Fibber.
imbeingheldhostage - really wish I knew the swear word... aren't they Naughty, the things they teach each other... (and regarding Embellishment... maybe I Don't Embellish and its all the Truth...)
Jane - Hooray! I shall go and get it. Thanks again...
Malc - HOW IS THE SNOW??!! Lots. Thats all I can say. Lots.
No bad thing, working on a Need to Know basis. Should try it myself.
Robynn - Glad you love my Boy! And if your stalking reaches Epic Proportions, thats Fine by me!!
Extreme hyperbole... love that... will have to write a post just about it, dont you think!
Mud - Go get yourself a Lacks right now. Sludgy wet snowy London Not Nice.

Robynn's Ravings said...

Extreme Hyperbole. Exactly. It's a term I enjoy as in Repetitively Redundant. Will enjoy reading WhatEVER you write about. And I will comment. Because you'll know if I don't with that tattle-tale Feedjit.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Yup!! There is no getting away from my mate Feedjit. But you always leave such lovely comments anyway...x

NaomiG said...

Oh me. I was crying when I read this one!!!! SO FUNNY! I have a 4 and 3 year old, and I love what they come up with, and how indignant they got when I didn't GET IT!

NaomiG said...

Oh yeah, forgot to say my daughter calls it "loolax"--she says to me, "Momma, are you stressterated? You need to loolax." It's just darling, is what it is.