Thursday, 5 February 2009

Food For Thought

Last Sunday I fed my family our normal Sunday Roast.
Eldest was just back from Skiing Trip and needed Real Proper Food.
Roast Beef. Yorkshire Pudding. Roast Potatoes. French Beans, frozen, from the garden last summer, peas and carrots. Gravy. The most Amazing Tarte Tartin that a friend had taught me to make, and which was, I have to say, the Dog's Bollocks. If you see what I mean. (I prefer Mutt's Nuts. What about you?)
Eldest Ate Everything. A Volcanic Mound of food on his plate. This Heap slanted steeply, precariously, on his plate. The three younger ones stared at it. Huge Eyed.
'Mummy, will he eat all of that?'
Eldest lifted head slightly from plate. Grunted. Carried on shovelling in Huge Mouthfuls. Had seconds.
Pudding. Eldest managed to get Large Slice of Tarte Tartin and a vat of cream onto his plate. Youngest three looked on.
'Mummy, I think he might be sick.'
Eldest grunted. Shovelled more in. Wanted seconds.
We all cleared away. Washed up. Dried up. Put things away. I folded the Drying Up cloth with some relief and popped it back on the rail of the still warm oven to dry.
Read my book.
Went outside. Moved things. Pretended to be Useful in the Garden.
One hour later came back in.
Eldest glaring into Depths of Fridge.
'Is there Any Food,' he asked.
'Is. There. Any. Food? ISTHEREANYFOOD??!!! Could Not Believe It.
Felt like Large Fat Bloke in Oliver Twist.
'Mum!' pleads Eldest. 'I'm Hungry.'
Grrrrrr. Mutter. Grrr. Mutter. Grrr.
I threw him some eggs.
'Make scrambled eggs. See you later.'
Went back outside. Grrr. Grrr.
My three youngest came bounding up.
'Marmeee!!!' they chorused.
'Hello, my darlings.' I grinned down at them, thinking how lucky I was to have such Little darlings, with no unreasonable demands for food.
They speak.
'When's tea? We're Starving.'
Their little faces all lit up with expectation.
'Can we have Pancakes?'

You know what... You Just Can't Win.


Troy said...

Re "Dog's bollocks". My friend who lived in Spain had a favourite Spanish restaurant. Every week after the bullfight, the owner would cook "for our honoured English guest" the bull's bollocks. He grew particularly fond of this treat. One evening though he was disappointed that the meal was a lot smaller and tasted sweeter. However he still ate it. Later, knowing the owner well, he queried why his helping was so much smaller than normal. The restaurant owner's reply "Ah senor, sometimes the bull wins".

Neas Nuttiness said...

"Dog's bollocks...Mutt's nuts...All I can think about is the Yorkshire Pudding - MY FAVORITE!

Having raised 10 kids, I've witnessed first hand, the eating capability of teen-agers. Hours of cooking...Mounds of food...gone in an instant! The only thing left on the table is dirty dishes:)

Kitty said...

I think that pesky 'Y' chromosome causes immense hunger. Those of us with XX ones seem to be able to eat a meal and then wait for a little bit before eating something else. However, my experience of boys (both my own and other people's) is that there is no 'I'm full' option in their brain. Where does all the food GO exactly? Four courses of breakfast and then an hour later 'Mum ... can I have something to eat please?' :-O


Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I know I'm going to sound like my mother when I say it's wonderful that he has such a good appetite. (mum still mutters about how difficult I was to feed as a child - I am almost 65 - so she has obviously never forgiven me).

Rejoice LWM and teach him to cook.

BTW - do your children really call you Marmee? That is my daughter's name for me! A x

Debs said...

I can never understand my son, he either has no appetite at all, or is starving hungry.

Off to school this evening with daughter who is going on a school ski trip in a few weeks.

Ladybird World Mother said...

!!! Yum! Must say, Bull's bollocks doesn't roll off the tongue quite so well, as Dog's Bollocks. As it were.
NN - Yorkshire Pudding is so damned nice... we have only just started to make it again after years... TEN KIDS. I keep forgetting you have had so many! Preaching to the converted here then, aren't I!
Kitty - that is exactly right, no I am full option!! Or, if there is one, it only operates for minutes. MADDENING!
Anne - I know I know!! Seriously I love that he is well and healthy and loves my cooking. Must say he can cook pretty well when he needs to, but cant yet drive (he's 19) so food disappears but he cant replace it. We live in the middle of nowhere... (I have a post coming up of Marmee and all the other names my kids call me... sweet that yours does too!)
Debs - school skiing trip!! How amazing is that. Hope meeting was good so that you can enjoy her going and not get caught up in worries!

Robynn's Ravings said...

It never ends at this age does it? My 13 yr old son has sustenance on the brain nearly constantly and it's NOT pretty to watch HIM eat, either.

He stands at the stove, though, and declares his love for me while I'm cooking. That makes it worth it but, are they really so cliche'? "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" Apparently, yes. The only trouble is the trail must be CONSTANTLY blazed!!

Tatersmama said...

I'm with Kitty. Where DOES the food go? I always heard that it fueled the brain, but that story just doesn't wash with me. For numerous reasons.
It's like they're eating machines with no "off" switch!

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Although being a teenage girl, I was quite an eater myself then, although I was not fat, but always had an appetite. I could put away double the amount of food that the rest of my family did. Especially after a long day at school and riding my bike home in the cold weather.

Suburbia said...

That's motherhood for you!

Far Side of Fifty said...

I guess boys are the same everywhere..bottomless pits for stomachs! I do so enjoy your humor! I do not always leave a comment..but I always appreciate what you have to say! I have never had Yorkshire Pudding or Tarte Tartin..but if your children liked them obviously they were good:)

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

I thoroughly enjoy visiting your blog for a daily dose of wit and humor. Today, however, I can't stop chuckling at Troy's comment. "Sometimes the bull wins"...hahaha!

I am grateful that I didn't have boys - more specifically their appetites. I have only one child, a girl who at the age of 32 is still a healthy eater - never eating too much or too little. Now she is the mother of two boys and one dainty girl. We shall see how much the boys eat her out of house and home. So far, only the eldest has a healthy appetite while his younger brother picks and pokes at mealtime.

cheshire wife said...

They don't need to worry about their waist lines do they?

Mean Mom said...

My middle son only eats one meal a day. He starts it at 7am and finishes it at 10.30pm. He is so slim that the crotch of his jeans is permanently between his knees, or is that just the fashion? I'm never too sure.

When all of my lads were still living at home, the constant cry seemed to be 'There's no food in this house!' but I was at the supermarket every single day!

imbeingheldhostage said...

At first glance, you should be proud that they're so eager to eat your food.. but having boys (and a grown one like you), I know what a strain it is to keep shoveling into the bottomless pit. I can't stand the "Why don't we ever have any food?" question grumbled into the refrigerator-- what's this "we" garbage? "we" don't shop, "we" don't pay for it and "we" don't cook it!

sorry, got a little side tracked. Me thinks you hit a nerve...
Great post. :-)

Working mum said...

Teenagers definitely have hollow legs. Our catering manageress at school can't believe the amount they pile on their plates, we've had to impose limits!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Robynn - how nice that he says he loves you while you cook! that is sweet. Through their stomach?? But first through that HUGE mouth...!
Tatersmama - I have no idea where it all goes either... down to their feet and slowly fill up??? Eating machines is Right On!
FTW - I must say, I can remember feeling Starving... and wondering when on earth the next meal was going to appear... that bike ride would certainly make you hungry...
Suburbia - sure bloomin is... but I love it really...
Farsideoffifty - Never had Yorkshire Pudding? Never had Tarte Tartin?? My dear, we will have to remedy that!
Debra - I know, too had a giggle at that one! He is very naughty...
CW - certainly they don't... Eldest is like a Bean... you can hardly see him sideways...
MM - !!!! Sounds like my boy... only he does have short breaks between, presumably to wash or whatever.... ;)
imbeingheldhostage - !!! Absolutely right... this 'we' thing... although its always 'you' when there is someone to blame, dont you find!
wm - now there's a thing...imposing limits... does it actually work, I ask myself... because even when there is No Food In the Fridge, Eldest still finds something to eat...

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

LMAO @ dogs bollocks! Tarte Tatin and a roast, is your middle name Martha?

Ladybird World Mother said...

!! Nigella to you. ;)