Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Bring it on, Florence Nightingale

I am getting just a litte Fed Up with Nursing.
Middle Son has Bad Cold Virus Thing With No Name. Horrid. Poor little Mite.
At the beginning of the week I would tiptoe up to his bedroom, pull his bedding snugly round his shoulders, ask tenderly if he wanted a drink of Hot Lemon and Honey, and then tiptoe gently down again. Once downstairs I would brew a Tisane of Crushed leaves of Wong Logat, while knocking up a Stunning Evening Meal ready for later when Husband would come home quite Grumpy from work.
I ironed Snowy White Napiery. I washed the Front Door Step. (I really did! In an Apron!) I polished tables with Bees Wax. Arranged flowers on the shining wood.
Played a little Chopin Mazurka to cheer him up. Stroked his hair.
I had Vitamins and Manuka Honey lined up ready to pop into Son's mouth. Fresh water taken up on the hour. Chilled Orange Juice. Tiny little Nourishing Snacks.
Every day. For a week.
Well.
Bollocks to all that now, I can Tell You.
Now its...
DO YOU WANT ANOTHER BLOODY DRINK? I yell up the stairs.
BECAUSE I AM NOT COMING UP THERE FOR BLOODY NOTHING!'
Son yells down for more water.
Son wants the telly turned a little down.
Son wants the telly turned a little up.
Son wants the telly turned off.
Son wants the telly turned on.
Son wants Cornflakes.
Son can't finish Cornflakes but would like some Cheerios.
Son would like a little lunch but not bread.
Son would like a cup of tea but no sugar.
Son limps into kitchen.
(May I just say that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIS LEGS.)
'I think I am feeling a Little Better,' he announces.
'Might do me good to have some Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice with my Bacon and Eggs.'

Well. Yippidybloodyhelldoodah.

Finally, tomorrow, I can dispatch Son back to school.
Now that he is better.
For ten minutes this morning I felt quite Euphoric.
No more illness! No more Stuck Indoors! I will be free!

Phone call. Husband.
Not Feeling Very Well. He says.
Think I'd better come home.
Could you get me some Paracetamol.
And would quite like some Hot Lemon with a little Honey.


Right. Super. Marvellous.
So it's on with the Apron again.
Buy more Manuka honey.
Get the Paracetamol.
Plump up the Pillows.

Freedom will have to wait.

I have a Tisane to brew.





PS
Don't really swear at my children. Only on Very Rare Occasions.
This week might have been one of them.

33 comments:

Kitty said...

Perhaps you should wear a gas mask so you don't get it? Sounds like the lurgi we all had in November - horrible thing. I hope you are all better soon. x

Sir Bruin said...

That brings back some memories! Blokey diseases are always more severe, you know. We don't know how to suffer in silence.

Neas Nuttiness said...

Maybe you should send husband to a hotel to recover...or better yet...
leave out all necessary items that he might need, on his bedside table...
and then YOU you to a hotel while he recovers!

MrsMama said...

I agree with Sir B. Guys tend to dissolve into a helpless mass when Sick. Need lots of TLC.

Women can Suffer while multitasking. Valuable Talent but not as much fun. :)

Robynn's Ravings said...

I'm am impressed by your housewifery! And also at your rebellion against same! As one who breastfed her children until they were nearly three, I was trying to figure out if you were "nursing" in the middle of all this. Then it dawned on me you meant in the medical sense. Guess my brain is permanently imprinted by the sheer breadth of my time spent as a milking machine.

Hope you stay well! (Although, wouldn't a few days laid up with someone bringing YOU honey and lemon do you just a little good?)

Milla said...

oh, and how do you get feedjit?? see what you've done, I've been reading down through your blog and should be walking up to school. Clicked on the thing below yours but don't know where to copy and paste that url thing to. thanks.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It's a man thing..

CJ xx

Milla said...

oh, my oh doesn't make sense. I had left you a comment thanking you for coming to my blog (very well behaved, me) and saying how much I enjoyed yours and how impressed I was that you lasted A WEEK (I'd've made it, with luck and a following wind to 11ses on the first day at best) and then some stuff about reaching for the car keys on hearing from your husband, lemon and honey could wait, etc. But it's not there.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Kitty - now that's a good idea. Except that I had it too! So dont think I will get it again...cross fingers. Bad luck for getting it too... glad you are better.
Sir B - Blokey diseases! Agree with not suffering in silence. I get running commentaries from the men in this family... about how well they are feeling... mmm.
NN - Now that is the best idea! Do you think he would notice? :)
Mrs M - very valuable talent... but agree, not nearly as fun as lying in bed, getting lovely tea and watching the telly. Heaven!
Robynn - wow, you are amazing and wonderful to breast feed for so long. I salute you!x
Milla - I loved your comment even though I got it second hand through the second comment! Feedjit...? do you want to get it? cos I cannot remember how I got it!! Leave another comment if you do, and I will try and think...
CJ - sure is...! and don't we love 'em anyway.

Troy said...

Well at least they are taking it in turns. Seems most considerate of them!
(Only kidding - I'm on your side really ha! ha!)

Mummy said...

oh no!!! Sounds horrific, and just a tad hilarious too I hope if you come down with the nameless virus you get nursed too!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Oh no - not the dreaded "man flu"! Thinking of you, apron and all! A x

Elizabethd said...

Thanks for your visit to France. I think I'm quite relieved my days of 'nursing' children are over now....but have been there with grandchildren also!

cheshire wife said...

I must be the only one with a husband who refuses to take time off work unless he is almost dead.

Working mum said...

Thank goodness! I thought I'd fallen in to the 1950s. Went a bit "Life on Mars" there for a moment!

Troy said...

Just an apron??
Is this a daily performance?

PurpleClover said...

ooh, a couple weeks back the kids had a stomach virus. My son couldn't sleep (he'll be two years old soon) so I brought him downstairs to watch cartoons at 2am.

It took me five sleepless nights before he stopped waking up in the middle of the night to watch cartoons.Ugh. What was I thinking?!

ChrisH said...

Hello! Goch, I thought I'd stumbled into the blog of a domestic goddess (which of course, I'm sure you are) and I was about to creep quietly away... and then I read on! Glad that son is on the mend but sounds as if you may have a case of man flu to deal with now. Good luck!

Elaine said...

Florence eat your heart out! I am humbled: your illness half-life is a lot longer than mine. I go from tender stroking to yelling up the stairs at a speed that would have Jeremy Clarkson drooling unattractively.

Good luck with the Man Flu - if anyone hasn't seen the famous Man Cold sketch from Man Stroke Woman,
it's here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE

gets me every time!

Vicus Scurra said...

I'm not really feeling ill, but I would feel a lot better to see photographs of you in the nurse's uniform.

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

Men are such babies when they get sick. When I get sick I'm expected to keep going. Just like the Energizer Bunny. Doughboy takes to his bed at the slightest hint of a hang nail. I don't get it.

Mud in the City said...

Not man 'Flu??

He clearly needs to be in isolation. Give him a week's worth of food and Lock The Door. It's kill or cure.

And Feedjit is wrong - I am not in Singapore!

(word veri is locrabi - are you feeling a mite Crabi by any chance?)

NaomiG said...

Haha. And you know, if you get sick, you'll still have to do all that stuff. Mommas are not allowed to act sick, even if they are.

docwitch said...

heheh. Compassion surely has to wear thin after a week or so of a (mini)-man cold.
That is truly a valiant effort on the nursing front. My word.

What Nutter said gin isn't good for children? I'd be putting it in his tisane by now.

Excuse me a moment while I go and answer the door to Social Services...

(and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment on my blog)

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - oh, now don't mess with me Mr Troy... Hell hath no fury like a woman in an apron... (I have 3!.. one has 'If its Bruin its cooked, if its Black its Buggert'... love it)
Mummy - I hope so too! Actually, on the quiet, had it earlier and was looked after nicely by the Husband but Dont Tell Anyone.
Anne - Thanks! Am still wearing it!
Elizabeth - oh, no, I hadnt thought of nursing grand children too. It rather goes on and on, doesnt it!
CW - mine usually does that... and had worked 2 days before this thing over took him... but he made up for it!
WM - dont worry, firmly back in twenty first century now!
PC - oh, those not very clear things we do in the night for a bit of peace... and then have to do for Ever. Hope you have got your sleep back now!
Chris - of Course I am Domestic Goddess, but just have the bit of the domestic Devil to even it out a bit!
Elaine - thanks for the youtube thingy, will go and watch it when have done these comments... I LOVE that sort of thing!
VC - Ohh MMMMMatron!
Debra - I think its the running commentary on how they are feeling that gets me... feel a bit better, feel a bit worse, feel a bit...SHUT UP!!!!!!
Mud - Crabi is about right! Will do the locking door thing right now.. why didnt I think of that earlier. Ta luv!
Naomi - too right, although as I said very quietly to WM I did get sick and was looked after very nicely indeed by Husband. But please dont let this go any further...;)
Docwitch - Gin!! Brilliant. will go and buy Large Amount. Why didnt I think of that ....

Vodka Mom said...

I am getting out of here before I get sick! or yelled at.......



LOL!

geraldgee said...

Google feedjit and do it from their site. However importing You-tube films with java messes it up,or it did with me.

Ladybird World Mother said...

VM - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YELLED AT????? (hope you didnt catch anything!)x
GG - is that the answer for Milla? or am I just going mad... (quietly, yup)

KAREN said...

Sooo funny! I don't even do the first bit, so hats off to you :o)

Suburbia said...

Don't forget it's half term next week! You'll have the whole lot of them at home with you (but hopefully they won't all be ill!)

Honeymark said...

Manuka Honey is an excellent natural remedy for cold and flu symptoms.

Joy said...

Robynn's comment made me laugh 'cause I thought the same! I guess I thought the same for the the same reasons as she!

Hope you stay healthy!

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