Tagged Out

I am Still Wading through a tag from several weeks ago... have done about 2 things. This is the third, and I think final bit. I could go on and on about 7 this and 7 that, but just can't be arsed.
So here are seven things that I just cannot do... (including Finishing Off Tag Duties)


1) Ich kanne nicht gespeaken keine language mit grossen confidenze aber ich kannen getten byen in der restaurant iff Ich haben to.

2) Cannot sew.
Have sewn object I am making to the clothes I am wearing on many occasions. Used to Have To Make Smock Dresses for the 'poor children' when at a Convent School many years ago. 'Poor' children, having to wear the Thing I scrunched together with pins and then attempted to stick together with needle and thread. My hands would sweat with the effort, and the pretty white material would turn a dank grey over the term. In the end an impatient nun would finish it. My needlework report...
'Helen works hard at her sewing but has difficulty in getting her garments completed on time.'
Never finished one. Ever.

3) Cannot read a new book without sneaking a look at the final page. Must see who, who with, what, and why before I start to read it. Absolutely cannot delay gratification.

4) Cannot have sex with the light on, as laugh at Husband Having a Serious Face. Try hard not to laugh as it Puts Him Off.

5) Cannot water ski. Am quite worried about doing this, since friend (girl) went water skiing and had a Very Nasty Experience with the water and her Bottom. Girl bottom, if you see what I mean. When she told this to small crowd of friends at smart cocktail party there was Aghast Silence. Horrified giggles. No one knew quite where to look. Certainly not down near her nether regions.
So. Not going to go water skiing. Ever.

6) Cannot help Lowering The Tone. If someone says anything with slightest Double Entendre I am off. Not just giggling like a school girl. I roar. With laughter. You can see my tonsils. I have friend living nearby who is the same. We once misheard, together, someone talking about their Heavy Box. We both thought they said Hairy Box. Beside ourselves, we were. Unable to greet our children coming out of school. Couldn't see for tears. Children thought we were ill. If anyone now mentions boxes, lunch, or otherwise, we are away.
Our children think we are Just So Childish.

7) Cannot think of anything else that I can't do. This does not mean that I can do anything. It means that I have rarely, if ever, tried to do something that I can't do.
Therefore I don't know what I can and cannot do.
So... get this, blogger friends. This is the time to try out those things. Try something new. Do something different. Be Brave. Go for it.
'Oh, I can't play the oboe.'
'Oh, I can't sail.'
'Oh, I can't tap dance.'
'Oh, I can't write a book.'
Well, here's the thing. We can. If that stroke-paralysed guy with no movement in his entire body except for his eyes can write a book, through blinking, then I think I can Bloody Well Have A Go. (fab book, by the way, 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly' by Jean-Dominique Bauby)

There. Done it. Finally tagged out. Now really must get on.
Books to write. Languages to learn. Life to live.

Oh, one last thing...
Can you remember hot weather? Here's a quick reminder. Because the last thing I cannot do, absolutely not, is wait for next summer...
Roll on.