Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Exploding fowl

I saw a pigeon explode yesterday. PPPPPoooouuuuufffffffffffffffff.
As we sped in the car towards the cloud of soft downy pillow feathers, dancing and drifting in the cold, I spied my friend, Alice. Driving the other way. Mouth as wide as a motorway tunnel, eyes bulging with horror. Arms stiff on the steering wheel. A shadow of her former self.
She had hit the pigeon with a Glancing Blow, and it had left, poor thing, an imprint of its body on her windscreen. Pigeon meeting windscreen at 50 miles an hour is Terminal.
Needless to say, we had Plenty To Say about driving into birds and animals in the playground, just a half hour later.
As Alice regaled the tale it turned out that everyone had a 'I killed a ... story.'
'I killed a deer.'
'I ran over a sheep.'
'I killed two pheasants at the same time.' (me)
'I ran into a cow.'
Poor pigeon.
On its way to Pigeon Home. And Boooomph.
End of. Finito. All Done In.
Life's short, girls and boys.
Enjoy it.

(This post just SO should have been called Pigeon Post. Dammit, why didnt I think of that?)


Sorrow said...

What a sad story..
does every one really have an I killed a? story?
I always thought that the few animals i killed, that nearly killed me, were committing suicide. I never felt like a killer, always a survivor!

Troy said...

What was the last thing that went through the pidgeon's mind I wonder? Probably his arse.

Mud in the City said...

I was always told that sea gulls would explode if fed alka-seltzer - because they can't burp.

No idea if it is true though!

Tessa said...

My husband explodes after eating lentils. Poor pige - although it must have been pretty well instantaneous. One would hope.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

We have lots of pigeons on our shed roofs and the farmer is often in the farmyard with his gun!

I had a pheasant it my windscreen about 2 years ago - shattered the full screen too. Haven't a clue where the pheasant ended up, most probably in a heap on the side of the A1.

CJ xx

Kitty said...

I almost had an accident recently, swerving to avoid a deceased animal in the road. I don't know what it was, all I was concerned with was not running over it. Of course what I should really have been concerned with was 'is there anything coming the other way?'

Thank God there wasn't.


Suburbia said...

Live for the moment, for tomorrow who knows what will happen? Well, that's how I'm living right now - I hope no one's going to explode me this side of the weekend!

Mummy said...

Oh no, how sad :( Do tell what happened to the woman who hit the cow? Surely the cow won???

Vodka Mom said...

Where were you driving, down Looney Toone Boulevard???

Who hits a pigeon???


Hadriana's Treasures said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ladybird World Mother said...

sorrow - every one sure did have a i killed a .... story... but we are out in the sticks here, with animals galore trotting over to the other side.... as it were.
Troy !!!! ROL (roared out loud)
Actually couldnt see for tears (laughter, its ok) while making tea for children. Oh dear.
mud - I heard that too... should we try and find out for real?!
tessa - lentils do that to a tummy...just bad news for people nearby.. (It was absolutely instantaneous. Poor old pigeon.)
crystal jigsaw - pigeon mysteriously disappeared too! Hundreds of feathers... no parts, as it were.
kitty - aren't we mad the way we try and get out of the way, when, as you say, there could be something coming the other way.... totally crazy.
suburbia - sounds like you are doing just that Suburbia! Thinking of you. Hope all is well.
mummy - cow met car. Car went crunch. So did cow. Ouch!
vodka mom - !!!! lol. Sure felt like Looney Toone land. The face on my friend in offending car was a total picture...

BT said...

I just wondered, sort of musingly, whether the red arrows picture is the right way up??

Woolayia (you might be saying). Verification word. Rather splendid I thought!

Ladybird World Mother said...

!!!lol. Oh god have laughed long and loud and its late and will wake everyone up... that was funny. thanks!