Had the most Entertaining Trip down to Devon and Mother In Law over the holiday period.
It's a four hour trip from here to there. Same old roads. Dark. Bloody cold too. Icy.
On my own. (bliss)
Husband and children had Gone On Ahead. I had delivered Eldest to station as he was off out with friends.
I got bored. Driving alone is a blissful state, but I was eager to reach the other end and have a stonking great big supper because I was Starving. And a Bloody Great Big Drink because it was New Year.
Listened to Mamma Mia for the 347th time. Decided to listen to Local Radio. Always a Hoot, as full of discussions about hedges or dog homes or Natural Remedies for Boils. Once I was listening to Radio Suffolk where they had a competition. The prize was a Book Mark. Classic stuff.
Listened in to Radio Solent, Southern Counties FM, Radio One, Radio Two, and the odd flurry of Radio Coast. They all had phone ins. Hooray, I thought. And set about phoning each and every one.
Hangover cures (Solent), Rock and Roll favourites (Radio 2), New Year Resolutions (Radio 1), and the odd Favourite Book or Have you ever seen a Famous Person, sort of phone ins from the others.
Texted, phoned, and generally had a bit of a private giggle. Thought to Myself, Hope they don't want me on the radio!!! Arf Arf!!
Well, became swamped with clamouring DJs.
Had to keep stopping so could speak, live, on yet another Radio Programme.
(Was once parked in someone's back garden. Thought it was a park. Sorry, whoever it was)
Became a little Hysterical. Decided that I was Quite Amusing. Mike from Radio Solent thought I was. We had long talk about skate boards and Mankinis. Oh, after the Hangover Cure. (large Bucket of Bloody Mary with half a ton of pepper and Worcester Sauce)
Arrived in Devon Flushed with Success. Right, I thought. New career. Radio. Obviously My Thing.
Ran into house to Greet my family. (Yes, my family always comes before my Career)
They were all neatly bathed and ready for bed. (not Husband or Mother In Law)
Totally Not Interested in my New Career.
'Did you get any crisps?' asked Youngest.
'No,' I answered. 'Bit Busy talking to DJs and all.'
'Oh,' he said, and wandered off, scratching his balls.
'Well..' I said, coyly, to Husband, a little later on, when children were in bed.
'What do you think? Radio or Television? Probably have better Voice for Radio. Mind you, telly needs a Good Voice too.'
'Yeah,' said Husband, looking at Whisky Bottle. 'Drink?'
End of conversation.
End of Career.
Oh, well. Best to Leave a Party at its Height as my mother says.
Thing is, party hadn't really started.
Bloody Good Fun while it lasted though. Can't wait for next solo trip in car. Might have to buy hands free set at Vast Expense.