Friday, 9 January 2009

Radio Star

Had the most Entertaining Trip down to Devon and Mother In Law over the holiday period.
It's a four hour trip from here to there. Same old roads. Dark. Bloody cold too. Icy.
On my own. (bliss)
Husband and children had Gone On Ahead. I had delivered Eldest to station as he was off out with friends.

I got bored. Driving alone is a blissful state, but I was eager to reach the other end and have a stonking great big supper because I was Starving. And a Bloody Great Big Drink because it was New Year.
Listened to Mamma Mia for the 347th time. Decided to listen to Local Radio. Always a Hoot, as full of discussions about hedges or dog homes or Natural Remedies for Boils. Once I was listening to Radio Suffolk where they had a competition. The prize was a Book Mark. Classic stuff.
Listened in to Radio Solent, Southern Counties FM, Radio One, Radio Two, and the odd flurry of Radio Coast. They all had phone ins. Hooray, I thought. And set about phoning each and every one.
Hangover cures (Solent), Rock and Roll favourites (Radio 2), New Year Resolutions (Radio 1), and the odd Favourite Book or Have you ever seen a Famous Person, sort of phone ins from the others.
Texted, phoned, and generally had a bit of a private giggle. Thought to Myself, Hope they don't want me on the radio!!! Arf Arf!!
Well, became swamped with clamouring DJs.
Had to keep stopping so could speak, live, on yet another Radio Programme.
(Was once parked in someone's back garden. Thought it was a park. Sorry, whoever it was)
Became a little Hysterical. Decided that I was Quite Amusing. Mike from Radio Solent thought I was. We had long talk about skate boards and Mankinis. Oh, after the Hangover Cure. (large Bucket of Bloody Mary with half a ton of pepper and Worcester Sauce)
Arrived in Devon Flushed with Success. Right, I thought. New career. Radio. Obviously My Thing.
Ran into house to Greet my family. (Yes, my family always comes before my Career)
They were all neatly bathed and ready for bed. (not Husband or Mother In Law)
Totally Not Interested in my New Career.
'Did you get any crisps?' asked Youngest.
'No,' I answered. 'Bit Busy talking to DJs and all.'
'Oh,' he said, and wandered off, scratching his balls.
'Well..' I said, coyly, to Husband, a little later on, when children were in bed.
'What do you think? Radio or Television? Probably have better Voice for Radio. Mind you, telly needs a Good Voice too.'
'Yeah,' said Husband, looking at Whisky Bottle. 'Drink?'
'Yes, please.'

End of conversation.
End of Career.
Oh, well. Best to Leave a Party at its Height as my mother says.
Thing is, party hadn't really started.

Bloody Good Fun while it lasted though. Can't wait for next solo trip in car. Might have to buy hands free set at Vast Expense.


Mummy said...

I love it and can't stop giggling! Having spent 10 years working in local radio I can imagine you made the day of everyone you spoke too! Go you! lol xx

Troy said...

At least you got out in time and wasn't killed by a video! (TOUCH WOOD).

Kitty said...

God, how I love the whole radio phone in thing. I've never actually rung one though - I just talk to the radio. Is it better if one actually phones?


imbeingheldhostage said...

I giggled all the way through this. Maybe you could just do pod casts instead of blogging as your new career, I'd subscribe!! (I'm a lot more supportive than family when it comes to being excited for your new career) ;-)

It was bloody cold wasn't it?!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I often listen to the radio so shall have to pay more attention in the future to phone-ins, just in case its you. Agree with Mummy - bet you made their day. You made me laugh.

A x

Lindsay said...

Once emailed Jonnie Walker on Drive Time (Radio 2) after he had laughed about an old man on a mobility scooter going the wrong way around roundabout. I informed Jonnie I was taking delivery of a "Supatrike" that day and not all of us scooter riders were either old or insane. All at once my email was read out amidst much laughter. Later in the day "Supatrike" was delivered. The mobility company had been listening to Radio 2 and had constructed a banner for my bike "As heard on Radio 2". Good fun was had by all!

cheshire wife said...

I am sure that you have the face for radio. Next time try to air your views on a station that we can all hear.

There is an award waiting for you on my blog.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Mummy - you work in local radio!!! That is just so funny. You must blog about that... or have you and I missed it?
Troy - yer wot???! Do you mean I got out of my shortest career ever, or out of that garden?!
Kitty - You absolutely must must must ring in one day. Its such a laugh. Go on, do it now!
imbeingheldhostage - now then, pod casts. There's a thing! And yes, it was BLOODY COLD!!
Anne - thank you!! I must say, it was enormously good fun. There was no time at all to get worried about what I was going to say. Too much time concentrating on parking the car...that done, was on air. So funny.
Lindsay - oh that is such a good story! You must have had such a fit when you heard your email being read out... what a giggle.
Cheshire wife - I'll do that! Thank you so much for my award. Thanks to my blogger teachers I now know how to collect my award and how to display it. Did it in indecent haste! Will have to think about who to pass it on to. Thank you!

Troy said...

Clue - first seven lines of the lyrics:

I heard you on the wireless back in Fifty Two
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you.
If I was young it didn't stop you coming through.

Oh-a oh

They took the credit for your second symphony.
Rewritten by machine and new technology,
and now I understand the problems you can see.

If no wiser try this link:

Roxane B. Salonen said...

I am a huge Mama Mia fan as well. My hubby got me the movie for Christmas, so now I can keep watching it as well. It's one I'll watch over and over again. :)
Peace Garden Mama

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - I get it!!!!! Took a while but got there in the end. And I knew all the words. Never actually had a clue what was going on in that song... how strange is it (not at all) that I should have Radio Star as my title!!
Roxane - Hooray, another Mamma Mia fan. Makes me want to book a flight Right Now and go to Greece. Singing. Thanks for comment!X

Suburbia said...

Sounds great fun! Funny how traveling alone (once you have become a mother) is so appealing!

Catharine Withenay said...

How fantastic - fame at last! Almost makes me wish I lived in The South so I could have heard you!

Malc said...

In my former life I was several times called upon to be an "expert" football pundit on local radio - it's harder than it sounds.
Don't be so easily discouraged. Listen to this interview - - for inspiration.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Suburbia - I so agree! There is a moment of ....ahhhhhhh. Heaven.
Catherine - yeh! fame! Oh, its gone... great fun while it lasted... ! :)
Malc - I am intrigued and will have a listen today. Football expert, eh??! sounds like fun.

DJ Kirkby said...

Oh this post was so very funny!I've never phoned into a radio station, not keen on the sound of my voice on radio though I will do radio interviews to shamlessly self promote my books...obviously.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Gordon Bennett...just put the wrong comment in the wrong post(I deleted it...had to re-read your pigeon post in context of my comment and it had a strange lunacy to it. Maybe I should have left it?!). Good wasn't me phoning and driving...I'd have crashed the car into someone's garden. Sounds like they got off lightly!!!

Ladybird World Mother said...

DJ kirkby - radio interviews is Very Grown Up. You will have to tell us when you do one and then we can all listen in. Love the cover of your book by the way. And am looking forward to reading the contents. Clever, you are.
Hadriana - 'Strange Lunacy' sounds good to me... you should have left it in!

Working mum said...

Ha ha! Very funny! At least your husband didn't say you had a face for radio!

I once phoned Stuart Maconie on Radio 2 at tea time and had a lovely chat with him on air for his 'Pie Tunes' feature. Husband, on way home at the time and listening to Radio 2, nearly crashed the car. I was then inundated with texts from friends who had heard me. Great fun, must do it again!

Google Mummy said...

2009 horoscopes must say that you are clearly destined for local radio superstardom! Advance notice of your next Big Trip Alone, please, plus likely route, so we can all listen to the local radio stations!

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic idea! Made me laugh. That's female multi tasking for you!

Mankini - I have a friend whose husband was forced to wear one of those on his stag weekend. He's big, Greek and hairy. Hideous thought!!

claires inner world said...

Very funny! You know how to entertain yourself don't you?!

I once called up local radio and got in on a conversation about selling up your house and sailing round the world. I was a bit drunk though...

Millennium Housewife said...

Excelt post Ladybird, choked on my tea and ruined my new jumper dress, all in good cause MH

Ladybird World Mother said...

working mum - actually he did!!!! But I didnt put that in. Dammit.
Now I have. Doh!
Google Mummy - will definitely warn the lot of you when I am on the loose... !!
mud - oh my god, a big hairy man in a mankini! It just doesnt bear thinking about. Oh god I cant get that thought out of my mind. AAAARRRGGGHHH.
claire - drunk is good for local radio I think. Not able to be in my case. Shame. Glad to hear that you have Done Some Radio. I bet you socked it to them!
MH - oh my god. Send me the bill!
Hope it was worth it.XX

Troy said...

Forgot to say earlier but I choked on my tea too. Ruined living room carpet and rug, Mrs Troy's very expensive dress, Troy Junior's Little Lord Fontelroy outfit and my cashmere jumper. Please e-mail your address so I can send you my bill too.
PS : It was a big mug of tea.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - !!! go on, then. What shall we say... round it up to £1000? (Cup of tea? bet it was a bucket.)

Troy said...

I think you are forgetting TJ's ermine.

Ladybird World Mother said...

What about 'ismine?