Oh God. Middle son has just watched Veet Advert on telly. Woman with legs up to armpits taking Non-Existent Hairs off Hairless Leg.
Middle Son notices that woman only does her legs up to knees.
'Why doesn't she do all of her leg?' he asks no one in particular.
'It'll look way better.'
I look at him over my cup of tea.
'Why will it look better?' I ask, worriedly.
'Because otherwise it'll be Hairy. Derrr.'
The poor boy thinks every woman under ninety is as Hairy as his Mother. On a Bad Hair Day.
Oh, well. Will be lovely surprise one day. Girl friend with hairless, smooth, brown legs. Like the Veet Lady.
'Wow! Look at your legs!' Middle Son will say.
'What?' New Girl Friend will ask, somewhat confused.
'No hair!' Middle Son will say, merrily. 'You should see My Mother's.'
Girl Friend will look at my legs from time to time, encased by then in Thick Beige Nylon Hold Ups.
Next life am coming back as Highland Cow.
Have its legs now anyway.
(P.S. Am concerned that readers will think that have thick pelt on legs all year. Not true.
Just the Winter Months.
So that's OK then.)