Sunday, 19 July 2009

Flushed With Success

Well. The moment you have all been waiting for.
The Results of the Flower and Produce Show 2009!
Drum Roll.
Curtains up.
Da Daaaaaaaa!
Husband. Won. The. Cup.
Won The Sodding Cup. The Challenge Cup. For the highest total in the Vegetable Produce Category.
All those evenings of Looking At Vegetables and doing the Felicity Kendall Encouragement Thing has paid off! Oh, and Husband's vegetables. And all his hard work. Of course.
Wait for it.
Third Prize for the Sodding Bloody Bicyle!!!! (not literally, of course) Oh, dear. We did laugh.
Third prize for Wild Life. Snore. Only because photo was very dull one of newt. On Husband's hand. (Robin one was rejected on grounds of Too Much Tit.)
And then, for photo put in at last moment... FIRST PRIZE! Toby the cat as a Garden Pest. 'I love the light, the cat fills the frame and is nice and sharp,' said the Judge. Oh. Whatever.
Oh, and the person who took 200 photos of mole hills? Lost. Quiet Smirk.
As did we. Because, wait for it... we didn't have Mole Hills. We only had a single Mole Hill. Grrr.
But was vastly cheered by having second prize in Decoration in a Tankard. Apparently my Contrast was Weak. Yer wot? Just shoved some bloody flowers in a tankard and sloshed it along to the village hall. Contrast? Eh?
OH. AND. Third prize in Riot of Colour Category!! 'Lovely arrangement' said Judge.
Really? Grabbed a host of wonderfully colourful flowers out of garden and stuck them all into one of those green oasis things and then crammed that into the right size vase. Done. Lovely arrangement, eh?!
So. The village settles down for the next year. A new set of names on all the cups given out. Children dashing off with their book tokens, prizes for the best Garden on a Plate, Picture of a Pet, and Best Handwritten Joke. (Daughter raked up a Second with her Joke).
Gardens can be just Gardens again. No more peering over fences, trying to see how the neighbour's broccolli is doing.
Had very large Whisky and Soda last night. Looking out of window at our glorious view of the Downs. Children cheery in spite of being beaten on every single category. (bar the joke)
I will leave you with the Handwritten Joke by Youngest. No prize, but we loved it. Writing on a slant and picture of duck at the bottom. Heaven.

What time does a duck wake up?
At the Quack of Dawn.

And Daughter's...

Man walks into a pub with a newt on his shoulder.
What's that! asks the Bartender.
That's Tiny, said the man.
Why do you call it that? asks the Bartender.
Man replies, 'Because he's My Newt.'

Boom Boom!

Oh, and the Prize Certificates...

Most satisfactory.


Debs said...

Wow. Look at all those awards, and you husband won the cup too. It sounds like great fun was had by all.

Catharine Withenay said...

Congratulations, one and all!

(I liked the jokes - do congratulate your children!)

Valerie said...

Wowee! I flippin' knew you could do it.
Laughing socks off here, hubby wants to know what the joke is. I ain't tellin' ... some things I like to keep to myself.
Congrats to your hubby for winning THE CUP. Roll on next year!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I told you so!! and I'm sniggering on the other side of my face now. Well done all of you. Fabulous. I love the jokes - I shall tell them to my 5 year old grand-daughter next week. She'll love them too. A x

MikeH said...

Well done, and congrats!

And I posted the link to the Halifax posts in a comment on my blog. You can't get to it from the main page. Still much work to do...

WendyCinNYC said...

Hey! That's great!

Tatersmama said...

Woo Hoo for you! I knew that you would come out a winner... in something! lol!
The bicycle one had me lmao!!

What I want to know is, what was in the tankard? It wasn't beer was it?

Elaine said...

you must be very proud!

Sarah said...

Perhaps Toby has now redeemed himself?

Congratulations to all, particularly for the handwritten jokes.

The Dotterel said...

Can I have your autograph?

Ladybird World Mother said...

Debs - marvellous it was! Had such a laugh...
CW - Thank you! Have passed on your congratulations to children who were most pleased!
Valerie - Thank you!! Yes, you keep those jokes to yourself...roll on next year???! Crikey, do I have to do that all over again?!
Anne - bet she'll love them! We got them off the internet... such fun to find the funniest ones. We worked it out that we'd have the one we laughed the loudest for... trouble was, we laughed loudly for each and every one! x
Mike - thanks so much for link... will have a nice cup of tea and read it. Thanks again...
Wendy C - good, innit!!
Tatersmama - wish it had been beer!! Unfortunately it was marigolds, all squashed in tight, with some green leaves all round the bottom... shoved in... unbelievable we won anything!
Elaine - Oh, we are, we are!
Sarah - Toby has totally redeemed himself... clever cat for winning a prize, even if it was as a photograph!
The D - you totally can... its on its way! ;) x

GreenPea said...

Now that is a joke and a half. I'm always being asked for a good joke.My Newt will be retold far and wide.

Congratulations on the wonderful prize tally!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Green pea - Oh thank you!! And glad you liked the my newt joke. The old ones are the best...

wonderwoman said...

oh i just loved those jokes!!! lots of congrats for the prizes, especially the bike!!!!!


Robynn's Ravings said...

OH!! Congratulations to ALL and frankly, I WOULD have voted for the jokes - both terrific!! Excellent, excellent, excellent. Had to say it three times. You know we Americans overdo everything!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I'm deeply impressed! Now is there an Oscar-esque ceremony to receive one's ribbons?

BT said...

Oh God, we did the village show thing for 2 years. Fell out with the chairman of the committee when he removed my photo as 'inappropriate'. Amazing. My 3 year old Grandson watering the garden in his wellies. From the back. Pornographic??? I think not. We scooped many prizes but it was blooming hard work. SO glad hubby won the cup. Great work. Jim did the same 2 years ago in the '5 organic vegetables' class. We just managed to remove the slug pellet before the judging!! Great post. Wonderful jokes! My kind. Don't like those long rambling ones. 'Where does Caesar keep his armies? Up his sleevies'.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Wonderwoman - glad you liked the jokes, oh, and the bike!x
Robynn - thank you thank you thank you... I must be half American as I like to overdo everything too!!X
Mud - Utterly Oscaresque... in Village hall with prizes given by dapper man in blazer and tie... marvellous. Better than Hollywood I'd say!
BT - some of these village shows are totally insane... we had mad old bat insisting that my friend and her FOUR children couldn't enter the children section as they were late. Grrrrrr. 15 entries they had.. The work... so I fully sympathise with silly notion of your photo being pornographic. Bet it was sweet. Put it on your blog! Oh, LOVED your Caesar joke!! Told the children and they fell about. Will tell all friends as soon as I see them! those sort are the Best. X

Troy said...

I go away for a week's holiday and suddenly you start blogging like crazy. Glad I didn't go for two weeks or would never of got up to date with your goings on.

Congrats on all your prizes (sorry can't be bothered to go back and count them all!).

Here's my joke.

This man walks into a bar.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Hope you had a lovely holiday... and love the joke... the old ones are the best, eh. Keep 'em short and sweet, as the actress said to the bishop.