Saturday, 25 July 2009

Mouse Alert

On going out to supper last night a Mouse was Spotted. Amidst the screaming and scraping back of chairs as nervous adults peered under the table, was reminded of Fun Time With Mouse when living in Suffolk a few years ago.
Imagine. Lovely farm house. Cosy kitchen with beams and an Aga. And a rather curious little room, solely for Telephone. Just off the kitchen. With Glass Door that Slid.
Nice.
House was rented or we would have hurled ourselves at Glass Door and destroyed it. But we didn't, and so there it remained.
Anyway...
Was on phone one evening talking to friend. Feet got a little chilly so felt about on floor for my slippers. Huge, sheepskin, fluffy Nonsenses of Slippers. But damned warm and cosy. Found them with my foot, and slipped them on. One was a little bit smaller than normal.
Strange I thought.
Carried on talking to friend.
Some minutes later, puzzled by smallness of slipper, which normally has Roomy Dimensions, took it off.
Blow me down, if a large brown mouse didn't jump out and start running round the Small Room Housing the Telephone.
Well.
I think friend's Ear has Damage for Life.
Screams reached the Far Posts of County. Eldest came tearing in.
What?What?What?What? he screamed. Looking through Glass Door. Eyes like saucers.
By this time I was Screaming Very Loudly Indeed and Trying to Gain Height, away from Floor and Mouse. Trouble was, there was one chair and quite a low roof.
Hit head Quite Severely on Roof in bid for Escape.
Somewhere at end of telephone line I could hear friend going
What?What?What?What?
Panted and yelled and screamed into phone.
No words. Just Big Noisy Sounds.
Friend extremely worried.
Managed to slide back door with aid of Eldest and Make My Escape into Kitchen. Eldest meanwhile opened Back Door and managed to get the Bastard Mouse of All Times Out.
Well.
Took about ten minutes, Literally, to stop Hysterical and Unattractive Laughter.
Another five to stop Shaking like unset jelly.
And another five to ring back Poor Friend to Explain.
Bugger Me, friend said.
Thought you'd been Murdered.
Sorreee, I said. Giggling.
Kept giggling for days.
Reaction, you know.
Post Traumatic Mouse Disorder.

24 comments:

Troy said...

You were lucky, I found one on my computer desk!

Mum's the word said...

Ooh, I've had those little visitors in my flat.
Not nice.

damian said...

Aw you meanie, I bet he was dead comfy all curled up in your slipper - very Walt Disney.

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Sorry not Damian. Me. Posing as Damian.

Tatersmama said...

I know it wasn't funny for you, so why am I LMAO anyway?

Poor mousey may have ended up with PTSISD (Post-Traumatic Sleeping-in-Slipper Disorder) and I wonder about the story he told "his" friends...

There I was, curled up and sleeping like a baby, all toasty and warm... when suddenly, a big, smelly *thing* invaded simply my cozy little bed!!! It was horrible, I tell you, and the stench was awful!!! I'll never get the smell out of my snout for the rest of my days!

Elaine said...

have just chortled for a good ten minutes at your mouse story - thanks!

...sssqquuueeeeeeek....

Pam said...

Brilliant!
Fancy him not biting your toes. You must have nice comfy feet.

Robynn's Ravings said...

And he didn't bite you for trapping him?! Amazing. Think of all the recovery you did from any previous trauma whilst primal screaming! LOVED the PTMD!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"Another five to stop Shaking like unset jelly."
"Kept giggling for days.
Reaction, you know.
Post Traumatic Mouse Disorder."

Oh, what a fun post. It felt as though you were telling me in person. Enjoyed it.

SandyCalico said...

So funny!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - !! Alive?!
Mumstheword - No, not nice at all. Specially in shoes. !
Damian - I know, I know, chucking him in the cold... it was the trauma, you know. :)
Reasons 123 - Damian?! Enough shananigans with Bad Mice...
Tatersmama - Oh dear, I hadnt appreciated trauma experienced by my little mouse friend... next time I see mouse will be Kind, Supportive and Sympathetic. ;)xx
Elaine - glad you had a giggly ten minutes... !
Pam - You know what, I dreamed about that bloomin mouse biting my toes for ages afterwards!!
Robynn - !! Think I screamed away everything that ever happened to me... marvellous. Thoroughly recommend it!
MJ - Oh thank you!! Would have been nice in person... I make a lovely cup of tea, and there's a hell of a view!
SC - glad you think so! (may I say was deeply traumatic at time...)

Troy said...

I think it was alive. When I clicked it the screen changed.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - oh god, that took me too long!!! derrrrrrr. Oh dear, still giggling.

Helen P said...

You're not going to believe this but as I write my hubby is pulling out cooker and fridge in search of a mouse. I am writing to you not because I am frightened of mice but because I am frightened of the mess behind the items being pulled out! (I can hear the hoover from here.)

Ladybird World Mother said...

Helen - oh no, you poor thing. What might he find?? Old tickets, items of clothing, decade old potatoes, that old spoon you couldn't find last year?! Oh, and a mouse...or three!

mrsnesbitt said...

Strange, we always reach for the comfort of a chair"

Mud in the City said...

I once found a live rat under my pillow. *That* was traumatic! The perils of a childhood in the country....

trasha said...

Eeeeeuuuuuwww Mud in C! Rat and pillow are NEVER two words one wants hear in same sentence!!

I always thought my 'being haunted by a frog' or 'stalked by a pigeon' tales were bad enough but this is an outright winner!

Ladybird World Mother said...

MrsN - I know... what is that about?! Particularly when chair and ceiling are not that far apart.. ouch.
Mud - aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh! That is just horribly traumatic. Toes are curling at the very thought. Makes my mouse in a shoe very tame indeed!!
Trasha - agree with you there... frog and pigeon, and indeed, mouse, are no contest with Rat and Pillow! Yuck...

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that. I was literally LOL at this, and my family now thinks I'm insane.

And thanks for your thoughtful comment on my blog. I think I'm heading in the right direction, but it's always helpful to hear it from objective observers. :)

Ladybird World Mother said...

Never have I been so pleased to see a comment! Glad you had a giggle. Will be over to see your blog again very soon. Thinking of you.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Well Post traumatic mouse disorder must be contagious because I got a good laugh over this.
Where in Suffolk?

Ladybird World Mother said...

imbeingheldhostage - Tiny little village called Helmingham, about 8 miles west of Woodbridge... lovely part of the world. Were there for 4 years. Loved it. Are you a Suffolk girl?

BT said...

The moral of this story is that you should always check your slippers for spiders, beatles, mice, rats, etc, before entering with feet.! Poor mouse.