Timid dad had scarpered today. Never mind. We talked on the wall of dull but necessary things like bra sizes and getting your breasts fitted, secondary schools (really dull), and what to have for tea. Then everyone seemed to go home with someone else's children. I ended up with boy and girl for my own boy and girl while younger son went with friend who was having another friend's boy. After complicated and detailed discussions about who would pick up who, where and at what time, we all went home. Tea was a riot as other friends arrived with cockerel in box. I had apparently said I would have Said Cockerel while at Ploughing Match the other day. Looked in stunned disbelief at bird but smiled brightly and took bird and friends round to chicken run to introduce him to our 5 hens. Will call him Cocky Bastard.
When introduced to my hens (Peggy, Katie, Doris, Thin Lizzy and Victoria) Cocky Bastard went straight to bed. Lazy Bastard maybe?
Tea was disintegrating by the time I returned to kitchen. Children shouting out maths problems with my calculator. 'WHAT IS 230,000 TIMES THE LOGARITHM OF 245,789?' Then they would all yell the (wrong) answer.
I put an end to this with a swift Be Quiet or No Pudding.
Everyone in bed now. Husband at yet another Secondary School Open Evening. Filthy supper for him when he gets home. Perhaps will give him large drink too. Will need it after school hall with strip lighting and only tea and biscuits to get his teeth into and headmaster going on about results and GCSE options. My husband still calls them O'levels. Hope he is OK.