When Mum turned into a Monster

Crikey, I am grumpy today. My children are the receptacles of my crossness, which makes me feel even worse.
We went shopping this morning, all of us, and every step was an ordeal.
'KEEP UP!' I would enunciate, in truculent tones, to each child that lagged behind.
And, 'Stop tripping me up!'
'For God's Sake, stop PUSHING!' was my Mantra.
And what made it worse was that the children sort of Put Up with me. You could see the resignation on their faces.
Mum's in One of her Moods, they seemed to Radar to each other. Which was Really Annoying.
However much I tried to be grown up and mature and Noble, I couldn't.
Husband was also on the Moody Wife Look Out.
'OK, darling?' he would offer, from time to time. A kind and sympathetic smile on his face. That I wanted to Punch. Hard.
I noticed another mother during one particularly stressful moment in large shop.
'Warren, IF YOU DON'T BELT UP YOU WON'T GET NO SWEETS EVER,' she shrilled.
'Golly,' I thought. 'Bit harsh on the little lad.' Turning a blind eye to my Curt Comments of five minutes previously, when had Hissed Hissily to children that 'if you don't be quiet I shall SHOUT SO LOUD YOUR EARS WILL FALL OFF.'
Double standards, I think.
So now we are home. I am blogging, having had a nice walk, alone, to gather my thoughts and reflect on what an Utter Cow I can be. Was perfectly nice during walk. Felt more and more generous and forgiving each step I took. But then there was no one with me to share the benefit. This is my problem, I have decided. I am frightfully nice when on my own. And stroppy cow when in company. Bit of a conundrum.
So.
Am determined to be Nice Mother.
Will go into sitting room, where there is a lovely fire and Be With My Family.
I won't shout at anyone.
I won't be cross when someone jumps on my back and I can hear the bones breaking.
I won't be irritated that cushions, recently cleaned, are all over the floor.
I won't be annoyed that only me stokes up the fire.
I won't be cross that Husband keeps asking if I am Still Cross.
I will be Sweetness and Light. Hope and Joy. Kindness and comfort.
Until the next time.
Oh, to be the Perfect Mother.
I wish.
Right. Off I go.
Wish me luck.
This mothering lark is tough on a girl, you know.