Monday, 19 October 2009

I'm Not Dead Yet

On Friday was away the whole day.
Arrived home at 7.00pm.
In time to bath Youngest.
Wrapping him in towel afterwards I cuddled him tight and Made Much, as they say.
'Well,' he began, importantly. Enjoying the cuddle and the warmth.
Little face enveloped in huge soft blue towel. And then he said it.
'I FORT you wasn't dead! I just knew it!' he announced proudly. And Baffingly.
'You knew that I wasn't dead?' I repeated, a little Unnerved by the dialogue we were getting into.
Face creased into huge smile.
'Yes! I fort, Mummy is Not Dead.'
And he wriggled a little closer.

What on Earth goes through these little minds of theirs?
Was once again in awe of how much we are needed and loved. And how much I need just to Be There.
Hugged that little body tight. Helped him on with his pyjamas. Oversaw the Teeth Brushing. Tucked him in and read, for the Hundreth Time, 'Where's that Bastard Wally.' (Not real title. But bloody well should be. Sneaky little sod can't be found and bedtime reading takes BLOODY AGES. Much nicer to read a lovely book which we both enjoy. But No. So it's Wally. Again.)
Said 'Are Farder'together.
Kissed him Goodnight.
His eyes kept shutting with tiredness.
But he still kept the conversation going in order that I might stay a little longer.
As I tiptoed out I prayed hard that Youngest's awful worry, lurking at the back of his mind, doesn't happen for a long time yet.
And down the stairs I went to cuddle Middle Son and Daughter.
Just in case they thought I was dead. Or something.
They didn't.
'OK, Mum?' they ask. Not taking eyes away from screen of telly.
'Yup, thanks,' I answer, dropping kisses on heads before settling down in comfy chair. Opposite lovely fire crackling away.
And I watch the telly. And my children.
And I give thanks.
Lucky old me.

21 comments:

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Ahh, life through the innocent eyes of a child...is there anything sweeter?

If they only knew that we need them as much as they need us.

Alix said...

Bastard Wally!!!! I couldn't agree more.

Once again, you manage to charm the hell out of me with your sweet. punctuated. and. abbreviated. sentences.

Amen.

Janna Qualman said...

They're just precious, aren't they? And it's enough to bust a heart wide open.

I love this post, Lady. Thanks for the warm fuzzies.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

We just never know what fears are lurking about in their little (little??) minds. How wonderful he could articulate it to you and have you for those special moments before drifting off to sleep.

You are lucky - and so is he.

Troy said...

You missed a trick there - you could have confirmed your living status whilst solemnly announcing that "regrettably" Wally had died and therefore it would be in bad taste to look for him.
My "Who Gives A **** Where Sodding Wally Is Club" is actively seeking new members.

Expat mum said...

You are so funny! And right about the kids and the cuddling etc.

DJan said...

Your children are really so precious! And who knows where he got that idea? Glad you're not dead yet. Who would make me laugh every day?

Nancy said...

Oh yeah, lucky old you!

Mwa said...

My son worries about that, too. At five.

Neas Nuttiness said...

What a tear jerker post!
Couldn't decided if I was weepy because he fort you were not dead, or because the title you gave the bed time story, was so darn funny!

You never disappoint me.

You really should write a book!!!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Truly lovely.

Lakeland Jo said...

I think it's good to go away for a day now and again so that kids see that people do go away, and that they do come back again. The anxiety dissipates then and they get more confident. I knew a mum whose own mother died and she had to go abroad suddenly for three weeks. She had never been away from her five year old until that point and the poor little thing was traumatised.

Woman In The Midst: Raw said...

Soooo sweet...

Catharine Withenay said...

If it's any help, I'm glad you're not dead yet too.

Although Wally is another matter...

elizabethm said...

What a perfect post, LWM. And yes yes yes about bastard Wally.

DJ Kirkby said...

Awwwww what a beautiful post. P.S. we're looking for Wally too and when I find him...

Sir Bruin said...

Happy to hear that you are not dead. I do feel that every day above ground is a nonus. Keep checking your porridge for ground glass!

Sir Bruin said...

Clearly, that should read, "Bonus"!

Word verification is "Lated" - is this significant?

Ladybird World Mother said...

Jeff - I know, they wont know until THEY are parents...maybe I should tell 'em... again!
Alix - bless you... what a lovely comment. And am so damned glad you hate Wally too! x
JQ - nothing like the warm fuzzies!! Glad you got some here. x
Bonnie - you are so right..was so concerned that he HAD the worry that had not realised that by speaking it out it helped him. Thanks for that!
Troy - damn and buggeration. So missed an opportunity. But am away tomorrow again... maybe Wally could have an unfortunate accident? x
EM - those cuddles are just the best, eh?! x
Djan - glad you're glad that I'm not dead. Wow, have never written anything like that before! x
Nancy - just am so glad, although not this morning with Quite Cross Children at breakfast...x
Mwa - is he? that is sort of comforting... although am sorry that he gets the fear too...
NN - oh thank you so much!! You ALWAYS write such lovely things to me... love it!xx
MJ - thank you!! Was a good moment despite the dying thingy. x
LJ - you know, I have never really thought of it like that... you are so right... I dont go away very much at all and he must find it hard. Off tomorrow again to see Eldest... wonder if he will say it again? x
WITMRaw - thank you!! glad you liked it.x
CW - spat out coffee reading your comment!! LOL.
elizabeth - glad you hate the bugger too. x
DJK - !!!! this made me chuckle!! Bloody wally....xx
Sir B - oh, I dont know.. quite like the idea of a nonus... perhaps those Buggers in the city could do with a nonus or two... might save the country a penny... what do you think?xx

Robynn's Ravings said...

Read this post after your current post and remembered....ah and sigh....we DO get paid for our jobs, don't we?

Nishant said...

Once again, you manage to charm the hell out of me with your sweet. punctuated. and. abbreviated. sentences.
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