Friday, 9 October 2009

Colours of Day

Had to go and get some paint for a little cupboard we are painting.
Crikey, it was difficult.
Thought I would waft into shop, ask for blue paint and waft out again. Job done.
Nope.
'Blue you want?' asked the man.
'Yes, please,' I said.
'Right you are,' he said. And showed me a Book of Blues.
?
Book? Of Blues?
I flicked through the Book.
Hundreds of the Bastard Blues. Some were admittedly quite Grey, and some were positively Night Like, but they were all arguably Blue.
Hells Teeth. This could be tricky.
'What you paintin'?' he asked. Trying to be Very Helpful, I am sure, but I was getting quite Hoppity by now, as wanted the Blue Paint Now. Did not want to look in Book for paint.
'Wedgewood Blue,' I said, with sudden Inspiration. Now the man would know exactly what I wanted.
'Oh, right. Look in this bit then.' And he pointed to bit of book. Looked in that bit. Blow me down, if there weren't a Hundred Wedgewood'ish Blues.
Called Lost Lake.
Blue Babe.
First Dawn.
Azure Fusion.
Sort of Bollocks.

Gave up. Bought Blue Babe.
Painted Cupboard.
Job done.
Then thought up a few bloomin' names myself. For the hell of it. See if you can tell what colour they are...
Oh. And do feel free to add to them.

Knicker Grey
Toe Nail Yellow
Goose Shit Green
Gorilla Arse Red

And another selection...

Very Black
Very White
Quite Blue
Sort of Yellow

There. Deserve to be in a Paint Book, I think. Will call it, 'Paint What Does What It Says On The Tin.'
Honestly.
I'm still seeing red about it.

20 comments:

Sir Bruin said...

I'm guessing that painting is a pink job in your house then? I trust that you used the correct shade of undercoat for the blue hue that you chose?

geraldgee said...

Sicky Yellow? I'm going no further. xx

Ladybird World Mother said...

SirB - White. When in doubt, use white. Always. As for being a Pink Job. Horrid visual there. Have to stop and have coffee. xx
GG - yeeuurrch. Please stop. XX

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Dog sh*t brown ... which I was unfortunate enough to find on my kitchen floor this morning

Troy said...

Snot Green
Pus Yellow
Underpant Yellow
Vit Yellow
Earwax Brown
Orgasmic Cream

for a range of colours use the speciality paint "Vomit Rainbow".

Troy said...

....that should have been Zit Yellow.
....and don't rush out to do your walls in Orgasmic Cream. It only comes in little containers.

Emma said...

Oh No.. You've just put me off painting the bathroom .. Was going to go to the DIY store at the weekend to find some blue paint..!!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Laura -oh, bad luck...not a nice colour, or thing to find under your shoe? slipper?
Troy - tone effectively lowered with that little groupette of yours! Yeeeuurrrcccchhh...
turning a gorilla arse red as I write....
Emma - oh no! Dont let me put you off... Troy did that all on his own! xx

Clippy Mat said...

that's exactly what baffles me when i go to pick paint. hence the green on my walls in the family room. everyone says they're white! cos not only is there a book of blues, there's also a book of greens.
and a book for every other colour.
dammit!
now i have to re-do. ;-)

Robynn's Ravings said...

OH YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND funny to boot, but of course. I have been completely stranded in an island of color choice where the Wild Man's room is concerned. A WALL of color swatches stared me down at the DIY store and it won. I left WITHOUT paint. I'll shop at your limited store and choose from YOUR offerings! Let's add Pepto Bismol pink. That'll make 'em throw up for sure!

Mark said...

Funny how far from simple things can get.

Twiglet said...

My favourite colour is turquoise blue - er or should that be turquoise green - they never look the same once you get them on the walls in different areas of light and shade anyway!!

Woman In The Midst: Raw said...

HAHAHAHAHA! It's times like this you wished you worked in the Crayola factory.. At least you'd be able to spout off the exact color you wanted!

DJ Kirkby said...

I don't like paint books either. Far too much choice.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'm the sort of sad git who mixes up his own colours. Haven't done the name thing before though. How about:

Dog Shit White: available in chalky finish

A Touch of Puce

Faintly Fuchsia

Lakeland Jo said...

the more choice the more anxiety in my book!!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Tell me about it LWM. Do you realise how many shades of white there are!!?? Having colourful nightmares about paint at the moment. Loved your specialist lists though and the other suggestions are classic! Can only add "Justgetonwithit Sky Blue Pink"! A x

Working Mum said...

That is such a pertinent post for us at the moment. I'm choosing paint for the hall and I just want a light yellow; I'm now struggling to choose between Buttermilk, Lemon Ice, Pale Primrose, Soft Sunlight and Daffodil White!

I like your descriptions better; I know exactly what colours they are!

Nancy said...

Finding just the right color is time consuming! During our remodel last year, I must have had dozens of colors streaking the walls before picking "peanut".

elizabethm said...

How about Old Black Cat? sort of going grey/brown.