Had to go and get some paint for a little cupboard we are painting.
Crikey, it was difficult.
Thought I would waft into shop, ask for blue paint and waft out again. Job done.
'Blue you want?' asked the man.
'Yes, please,' I said.
'Right you are,' he said. And showed me a Book of Blues.
Book? Of Blues?
I flicked through the Book.
Hundreds of the Bastard Blues. Some were admittedly quite Grey, and some were positively Night Like, but they were all arguably Blue.
Hells Teeth. This could be tricky.
'What you paintin'?' he asked. Trying to be Very Helpful, I am sure, but I was getting quite Hoppity by now, as wanted the Blue Paint Now. Did not want to look in Book for paint.
'Wedgewood Blue,' I said, with sudden Inspiration. Now the man would know exactly what I wanted.
'Oh, right. Look in this bit then.' And he pointed to bit of book. Looked in that bit. Blow me down, if there weren't a Hundred Wedgewood'ish Blues.
Called Lost Lake.
Sort of Bollocks.
Gave up. Bought Blue Babe.
Then thought up a few bloomin' names myself. For the hell of it. See if you can tell what colour they are...
Oh. And do feel free to add to them.
Toe Nail Yellow
Goose Shit Green
Gorilla Arse Red
And another selection...
Sort of Yellow
There. Deserve to be in a Paint Book, I think. Will call it, 'Paint What Does What It Says On The Tin.'
I'm still seeing red about it.