Monday, 10 August 2009

Home Again

Home! How marvellous it is to get back and wander round the garden, admiring rosy tomatoes in the green house and clucking over the state of the lawn.
Journey home very long indeed.
As we approached the last half hour (out of 5) children's conversation took a Plummeting.
How would you rather die? asked Middle Son to his younger siblings. 'In a lake of snot, or jump off a cliff?'
Youngest seemed to take this into careful consideration.
'Would we be naked?' asked Daughter.
'What, jumping off the cliff or in the lake of snot?' asked Middle Son in All Seriousness.
'In the snot,' chimed out Daughter and Youngest.
Middle Son gave this some more Serious Pondering.
'No,' he said at last. 'Fully clothed.'
Both Daughter and Youngest heaved sigh of relief.
'Lake of snot,' they chorused together.
Husband and I Exchange Looks.
When will this Bloody Journey Ever End.
As the children begin the next sentence with, 'How would you rather be murdered...' I interject with a cheery, 'Let's Count Trees!'
The children pause for a moment and stare out of the windows at the Huge Wood we are travelling through.
Back they go to the 'Would you rather be pushed off a cliff and get a wedgie or ...' conversation. We leave them to it.
Devon was lovely. Beaches and barbecues, tennis and golf. Walks and whiskies. Maybe not all in that order, but packed in there somehow.
Dial Up Computer, possessed by Grandmother, huge and grey (computer, not grandmother) caused Great Hilarity amongst the children. They could Not Believe the length of time it took to get connected.
What's that noise, they asked incredulously, to the Brrrrrriiiiiinnnngggggeeeeeeeooooooorrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhchchchchchchchchchchc... noise, that dial up engenders.
'Welcome to the Nineties,' I said, somewhat sarcastically, as the ninth minute rolled on by.
The children looked Enchanted by the Old Ways of last century. Middle son at breakfast this morning pretended to do Dial Up, to the hilarity of his youngest brother and sister, who thought him Most Amusing. Actually, so did I. He was hugely funny.
So, here we are. Mountains of washing. Lawns to mow. Weeds to pull up. Cats to cuddle and hens to feed. And just under a week to do it all before we push off to Essex for another week.
I love the Summer Holidays.


imbeingheldhostage said...

:-) your torture, my joy to read... although "lake of snot" did make my lunch do a little flip in my tummy. Welcome home.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Oh you tell it all so well LWM - it was just like being sat in the back seat of the car. I love the rambling conversations of children and their kind of logic too.

With all the catching up you have to do you will be glad to go on holiday again. Lovely to see you back for a while though. A x

Neas Nuttiness said...

You never fail to amuse me!
Thanks for the laugh

Troy said...

"Lake of snot?" Was the swine flu that bad done in Devon then?

Governmenmt guidelines are to cover your mouth, wash your hands and avoid falling in lakes of snot.

geraldgee said...

Photos please when you get to Essex if I've guesed rightly where you're going.

Ladybird World Mother said...

imbeingheldhostage - so sorry about your lunch. Hope you feel better now!! x
Anne - wish you had been in the car with us... you might have had more success in changing the subject matter than I did!
NN - My pleasure!! xx
Troy - they dont put that in the hand book, do they. Just talk about handkerchiefs and not sneezing in people's faces. Maybe lakes of snot is just too real. Yeurch. :)
gg - photos will be taken forthwith! Any particular place you might prefer? x

wonderwoman said...

aren't children just wonderful!!sounds like you had a great holiday and will get sorted out just in time for the next one - brilliant!

Pam said...

I think I'd rather be naked in a lake of snot - don't like the idea of it getting down my pants.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! Middle Son needs his own blog!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Lake of Snot. I'm thinking the kid that thought of that, oh, my. Twill be a long ride. Ha!

Robynn's Ravings said...

Sounds horribly and wonderfully delightful. And really? A lake of snot? Where do they come up with these things. Truly...just push ME off a cliff. I'm allergic to snot! Enjoy the rest of your holidays!!!

Ladybird World Mother said...

ww - am hoping that all washing will be done and the field that were our lawn will be mown...
Pam - mm. Know what you mean... would not be a pleasant experience, I'm thinking.
CS - aha! Will pass that one on. Might make a few people quite queasy though!
MJ - he certainly has an active imagination, eh. Quite a nice kid, though I say so myself. Just has Very Odd Ideas in cars.
Robynn - I'm with you off that cliff! Snot is just so ewwwww. xx

Anonymous said...

Jammy g*t.

Says it all I think!

Valerie said...

I'll soon be home too... dread to see the state of the lawn. Enjoyed this post, and the giggle it produced. I've missed my giggles.

Catharine Withenay said...

I love it. Not the lake of snot, of course, but the freedom of holidays, free of stress and routine and restraint. But, somehow, never free of washing...

elizabethm said...

Keep coming across your comments on lots of my favourite blogs so thought it was time I came visiting. Love the lake of snot. sounds like a career in comedy beckons! I love Devon too, almost as good as Wales.

Ladybird World Mother said...

mud - sure bloomin' does...better than snot.
Valerie - oh, good, glad you got a giggle! Our lawn is still awful. Done a bit but just too wet. Grrrr.
CW - Never free from washing... ever, ever, ever. Did 7 loads on getting home. Plus several more for towels. Grrrr. All done now. Oh, no, there's more from the last two days. More grrrr.x
elizabethm - how lovely to see you! Will pop over to yours if I may...

Nancy said...

Ahhhh summer! We spent the day at the beach, chasing my 20-month old grandson and teaching him the cold water is actually only really cool. Then it was sandy showers and dinner on the deck. Love it.

Glad you had such scintilating conversation on the say home, LOL!