Home! How marvellous it is to get back and wander round the garden, admiring rosy tomatoes in the green house and clucking over the state of the lawn.
Journey home very long indeed.
As we approached the last half hour (out of 5) children's conversation took a Plummeting.
How would you rather die? asked Middle Son to his younger siblings. 'In a lake of snot, or jump off a cliff?'
Youngest seemed to take this into careful consideration.
'Would we be naked?' asked Daughter.
'What, jumping off the cliff or in the lake of snot?' asked Middle Son in All Seriousness.
'In the snot,' chimed out Daughter and Youngest.
Middle Son gave this some more Serious Pondering.
'No,' he said at last. 'Fully clothed.'
Both Daughter and Youngest heaved sigh of relief.
'Lake of snot,' they chorused together.
Husband and I Exchange Looks.
When will this Bloody Journey Ever End.
As the children begin the next sentence with, 'How would you rather be murdered...' I interject with a cheery, 'Let's Count Trees!'
The children pause for a moment and stare out of the windows at the Huge Wood we are travelling through.
Back they go to the 'Would you rather be pushed off a cliff and get a wedgie or ...' conversation. We leave them to it.
Devon was lovely. Beaches and barbecues, tennis and golf. Walks and whiskies. Maybe not all in that order, but packed in there somehow.
Dial Up Computer, possessed by Grandmother, huge and grey (computer, not grandmother) caused Great Hilarity amongst the children. They could Not Believe the length of time it took to get connected.
What's that noise, they asked incredulously, to the Brrrrrriiiiiinnnngggggeeeeeeeooooooorrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhchchchchchchchchchchc... noise, that dial up engenders.
'Welcome to the Nineties,' I said, somewhat sarcastically, as the ninth minute rolled on by.
The children looked Enchanted by the Old Ways of last century. Middle son at breakfast this morning pretended to do Dial Up, to the hilarity of his youngest brother and sister, who thought him Most Amusing. Actually, so did I. He was hugely funny.
So, here we are. Mountains of washing. Lawns to mow. Weeds to pull up. Cats to cuddle and hens to feed. And just under a week to do it all before we push off to Essex for another week.
I love the Summer Holidays.