Am delighted. Do not have Bingo Wings.
Might have Flabby Tummy, Saggy Bosoms and Flat Arse But do Not Have Bingo Wings.
(Yes. F.L.A.T Arse.)
Might have Crows Eyes, a Bikini Line to scare off an Orangatan, and a Mono-brow, but Do Not Have Bingo Wings.
Might even have Crepey Armpits.
But Do Not Have Bingo Wings.
Might have Tummy Button that resembles Bagel.
But Don't Have Bingo Wings. (Mothers, try it with yours... Make a ring with your two hands over your navel... and squeeze lightly. There! Gorgeous or what. What, I think.)
Could Go On and On here. Will stop now. Beginning to get Rather Depressed when originally so Pleased.
Found out about Not Having Bingo Wings in bath today. Was wallowing. It being the holidays and all.
You see, while lying ill in bed for Two Days had watched a lot of Toss on Telly. One Thrilling Programme was all about Bingo Wings. And how Michelle Obama doesn't have any. And she's 44. Blah blah blah.
So, while in bath this morning, did the Michelle Obama Arm Wave. Jiggled my arms for all they were worth. Waved to the shampoo and the toothpaste. Waved to the Toilet Duck. Positively dislocated arm waving at Hair Removal Cream and Nail Polish Remover.
Triumph. Firm as a Builder's Bum, they were. (A Fit Builder's Bum. Not those really flabby, white ones. Yeerrch.)
Good, isn't it!
Will now take to wearing sleeveless tops and waving to people.
Hello! I will yell across the playground/car park/fields/parties.
And wave. Repeatedly.
Because you have to Show Off your Advantages. Or Advantage, in my case.
Meanwhile will hide Breasts, Bottom, Armpits, Navel and Eyebrow.
With Visor Cap?
I'll think of something.
(Sleeveless Wet Suit?)