Monday, 16 May 2011

The Hungry Caterpillar

Bugger it.
It appears I have reached new depths.
Was taking my two younger children to school this morning. Beautiful May sunshine, albeit rather chilly at 8.45 a.m. Kissed the children, said 'Morning' to anyone within reach, passed the time of day with a friend and talked about nothing much, and was about to walk back home when same friend plucked a small Green Caterpillar from my rather natty new cardigan (another story) and deposited it into my hand. I rather gingerly held it on the end of my index finger, thanked her politely (she paid absolutely no notice, never does) and started off down the road, sticking out my index finger as if playing guns with Youngest.
Not really liking this small Green Caterpillar being on the end of my finger, tried to shake it off. No luck, so flicked the slimey green bugger off into the hedge.
'Eww!' said a passenger of car sloping past (so slowly could hear the news on the radio through the open window)
Ewww?? I thought? Why?
And then realised.
Eww.
They thought I was flicking off a bogie. Snot. Nose Mucus. Greeny. Any other delightful word that describes such an odious function. Flicking it OFF my finger and into the hedge.
In full sight. A Great Big MOVING Green Bogie. (anyone on the other side of the Atlantic? A Booger to you)
Fab.
New depths.
I wanted to shout after the disapproving backside of the car 'Hey YOU! It's not a bogie, it's a CATERPILLAR!' but thought, quite rightly I think, that this would have made me seem even more weird.
And so I'll simply kill my friend and then let things lie for a while.
Or else pluck a caterpillar from HER natty cardigan (not QUITE as natty as mine) and place it just below her nostril. With Superglue.
For God's sake, WHY ME.
Grrrr.

16 comments:

Leilani Lee said...

Once again, you have livened up my day tremendously. Thank you for sharing this priceless event with us all.

Tattie Weasle said...

Priceless!!!!!!!:)
Ps verification is delot - rhymes with.........

Nicola said...

And I thought this sort of thing only happened to me! Very funny. At least the passenger of the car was a stranger...no?

Sir Bruin said...

If it had been a bogie, surely they wouldn't have expected you to carry it all the way home? Snot reasonable.

Mud in the City said...

Classy! Mind you, if that was in Asia the hoicking, phlegming, snotting and spitting is deemed perfectly reasonable, even inside a bus. Lovely!

Ladybird World Mother said...

LL - glad you didn't mind me 'sharing' such classy stuff. Yeurch.
Tattie - word veri most apt!! LOVE it when that happens...
Nicola - thank god, yes... would have made a much darker tale otherwise!!
Sir B - You think it's bogey but its snot... (favourites are the best, eh)
Mud - hoicking!! so graphic. Took headmaster of a Gambian school to my house once and he hoicked VERY loudly in the drive... nice. Huge flat pile of it on the grass. As you say... classy. x

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I love a good booger story with my morning coffee. Thanks for that.

Expat mum said...

I don't know - if my snot was as luminous as that I'd be taking myself off to the doctor's!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Jeff - any time, friend, any time! x
EM - I know, a bit worrying... BUT ITS NOT MY SNOT!!! x

Debs Carr said...

LOL! Poor you, how awful. Love it though!

Suburbia said...

Hee hee!

My Small Sprog pushes French Beans up his nostrils!

Troy said...

You flicked the caterpillar into the hedge! As a local official of the Caterpillar Welfare Society (motto - caterpillars have feelings too...as well as migraines if flicked) I have, as a minimum, to chastise you. By all means, flick bogies to your hearts content - one day you may get into the Guinness Book of Records for the further bogie flick - but please have a thought for these tiny defenseless cterpillars.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You're much braver than me! I couldn't have something like that on my person, it'd seriously freak me out!!!

CJ xx

Trash said...

Bugger. Or booger. Hahahahahahaha.

Hearth-mother said...

Now that's a very elaborate story to explain away a bad habit...!

Humdrum Mum said...

I was eating my lunch!!!!! EEEWWWWW -HMx