Wednesday, 7 April 2010

A Little Note to Lost Followers

Dear Followers who have decided to Scarper this week,

I am aware that I tend towards the Lavatorial side of life. And that I have probably passed the Decency Boundary by describing the passing of a thread through my child's bottom. And the pulling out of Said Thread from Said Bottom. From one end to the other. Not a story for the weak hearted.
But you see, I was just so PLEASED to reach 130 followers. Tickled pink I was.
And then, just as I got used to the dizzy heights of 131 followers, it was snatched from me, like a sweetie from a child's hand.
I mean.
When all is said and done (quite literally, I think, on my blog)... does it matter that you have to read Said Blog with a stiff drink, a sick bag and a good healthy dose of Humour?
It does? Oh, dear. What if I supply the Sick Bags? No?
Righty Ho.
AM very sorry to have offended you and all that. Hope you come by soon when I write incredibly clever stuff about the General Election. Or what to do with cardboard boxes when they are wet.

Dear Followers who have decided to Stay.

Good on you!
What lovely people you must be to stick around through such Horrendously Visual Stuff and STILL remain cheerful. I salute you all!
Now, as you are all still here, and not recoiling TOO much from Over Descriptive Passages, as it were, will make Huge Effort to write posts that are Thoughtful, Informative and Incisive.
But would you mind awfully if I started that sort of thing next year? Just a few more posts to squeeze out, as it were, about the usual sort of stuff. But will then Turn Over A New Leaf.
I promise.
Unless something comes up. Or Plops down. Or something.
In the meantime, how kind you are to follow such a load of Nonsense.
I Really, Truly appreciate it.
Thank you!


Fran said...

Just came across your blog, so had to discover what had offended. What a funny story! Children take us to places unimaginable! Love it!

Suburbia said...

Nothing better than a bit of toilet humour!!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Well, you didn't offend me, LWM. I have been absent from Blogworld pretty much recently because I have been attending to 88 year old mum who had a fall. Back now though and looking forward to more of watever you write. A x

Laura said...

but but but... Mr Google Reader tells me you have 155 followers! People still love you, honest, even more than you thought, even taking in to consideration the Thread Pulling Incident....

Trash said...

I wouldn't panic so much LWM. I think this is a relatively frequent occurence in the blogaverse. I for one have two followers who have been yo-yoing in and out of my life for several months.

Poo or not I shall always be around.

(Have you noticed The Archers writers must read your blog? There was a whole storyline about a village talent show.)

Tatersmama said...

Hun, you don't offend me in the slightest! We've all been there and done that as some time or another... but at least you're brave enough (silly enough? *snort snort*) to talk about it.
I LOVE your blog, your honesty, and your incredible sense of the ridiculous... so never, EVER change!

What you said : "Over Descriptive Passages"? LOLOLOL... I just about peed myself!!!

Anonymous said...

Still here, not Lost, just Faaaaar Away!

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh forget them. As we ultra polite folk say in the States: "Poo-poo occurs." I felt that would be in keeping with the er, strain, you've been under. How I could regale you with a couple of these stories (of late) but don't have the ovaries. My hate is off to YOUR ovaries. You lead. I'll follow!

P.S. I've lost a few followers when I've thought I posted something really terrific, and then recently gained three when I haven't done a bloody thing. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut more often!

Clippy Mat said...

well I could hardly believe when I checked that I wasn't already a follower - but you are on my blog roll tho'. So I've promptly added myself and topped you up to 130 once more.
Keep up the good work. Love those stories.

Bernie said...

It is your blog, you must write what you know about and what you want to write about....should have nothing to do with number of followers. Just be yourself and let those who enjoy you be who you want to follow you.....:-) Hugs

Sir Bruin said...

I think you should continue to go through the motions. Any attempt at "serious" blogging would be way above my head. Apparently, I haven't outgrown lavatorial humour. Wifey says that I am a 50 year old toddler.

Anonymous said...

I know where you're coming from on the ebb and flow of followers.

I'd tell you my advice on how to let it wash over you - but that'd make me a lying hypocrite. If you find a strategy, do let me know. :)

Ladybird World Mother said...

Fran - WELCOME!! How lovely to 'meet' you, and totally agree about the places children take you... I think I have been to all of them. xx
Suburbia - I totally agree... so glad you do too!
Anne - Do hope your darling mum is ok...horrid to fall at that age. xx
Laura - 155!! YIPPEE!! Whatever google reader is, I love it! x
Trash - now you have discovered my secret... the Archers are always on to me to supply their next story line. Watch out for thread and bottoms next. x
Tatersmama - SO glad you got the passages bit... thought I might be a bit too subtle.... Not!x
Mud - so faaaarrr away... hooray for blogging! x
Robynn - THANK YOU!!! Oh, go on, lets have an ovary story... or would it be too ovary the top?
CM - you total angel... not that am counting followers or anything. But HOORAY!!
Bernie - such wise words... THANK YOU!! You are my voice of reason... I absolutely know that, but sometimes need a nudge as reminder. xx
Sir B - perhaps should call blog Going Through the Motions?? And just use Lavatorial with no relief... as it were. Glad you are 50 year old toddler. I am 49 year old one. x
Matthew - have no formula either... we'll let each other know when we get one, yes??! x

PatsyAnne said...

Oh My Goodnes Me!!!!

What a bit todo over not much... I laughed my "butt" off (excuse the word) and immediately forwarded it to my daughter who has a 9 month old daughter and to my four cousins with small children, they ALL laughed and responded that it was "priceless"!
So tell everyone to take a deep breath - poop happens and mom's must take care of it - that's life - and if they all live in a world without poop - then, my goodness, tell me where it is so I can move there.


Corey Schwartz said...

Plops down. Ha! If people are uptight, who needs them?

martine said...

Confess I went down my list and 'de-followed' a few people the other day ... but only people who hadn't posted in more than a months, or who turned out to not be as interesting as I anticipated. Love coming here, always witty, never offended just because you tell it like it is. Your post (from when I found you) back in September about the kids listening to you doing a morning pee stands as my favourite ever blog post.
Here for anyone who missed it:
thanks for being there
keep on keeping on

Troy said...

They probably died!

Anonymous said...

But I enjoyed the thread story more than almost anything I've read all year! 'Don't go changin'' (as Billy Joel said to Christy Brinkley, just before he divorced her). I haven't been stopping by many blogs lately, but that's purely because of chickenpox outbreak, and having the kids clinging to my ankles all day and most of the evening. How dare they cut into my blog-surfing time?

Ladybird World Mother said...

PatsyAnne - wow... you can come again!! And a world without poop... not my sort of place at all. Thank you for kind kind comment! x
CS - Totally agree... glad you're in with the Plops Brigade. x
martine - that was just so nice... I love it when people genuinely enjoy posts... mine and other peoples. It makes blogging worthwhile. xx
Troy - and may they rest in peace. Why hadnt I thought of that? Had any more 'nice' comments? I just LOVE how you deal with them. x
notwaving - how thrilled am I that you liked the old thread story... and bad luck indeed with the chickenpox... goes on and on and on, doesnt it. Light at end of tunnel yet? xx

palomino said...

Oh please , not thoughtful and incisive ! I discovered your blog one night duty having run out of things to google , and read the whole thing from start to finish . My colleagues got so concerned that at one point they offered an ambulance as they thought I was having a seizure . Please don't change . Every time I read you it helps to know that someone's else's life is just as bizarre as mine .

Midlife Jobhunter said...

The usual sort of stuff is what keeps me coming back. And your most delightful style of telling. I hope I never get so boring I would think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I just read the 'bottom' post and have no idea why anyone would be offended over the silly things that a child does and what parents go through in getting them raised and out the door.

Hysterically funny!

The Blue Ridge Gal

Stickhead said...

LOL! I actually had a written complaint about my blog once because I had (brace yourself) MENTIONED DOING A WEE. It was from a man who felt that such things were unsuitable for the internet. He clearly doesn't do a lot of Googling.....

Kevin Musgrove said...

Wer cardboard's no good for tidying up poo. Politicians, though...

Kevin Musgrove said...

Or even wet cardboard...

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

I don't think there is much that offends we blog reading moms. We've all "been there, done that." Well, maybe not EXACTLY that, but you know...
Lindsey Petersen

DJ Kirkby said...

I'm still following! Your posts make me giggle.

Exmoorjane said...

Offensive? You?! Nah.

Yes, yes YES of course they could manage your lunch at the wonderful problem. Get it booked though as they fill up fast!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Not surprising that followers bugger off when all they get is a general sort of crap comment like this one. But THANKS you lovely darlings. Where would I be without you, eh? Probably doing something useful, like parenting. Oh, well. Jane... thanks for that, I shall get going fast. May approaches rather fast. Yippee. xx

Libby's Library said...

Well, since you produce some of the funniest, touching, and insightful "nonsense", I'll keep following!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I'm still following... at least I think I am. What's that say about me that lavatory humour doesn't even make me blink?

Niki said...

Just became your 139th follower...had to after this post :)
love your blog!