Saturday, 14 September 2013

What next?

Went shopping with Youngest.  Started at the Post Office where I had large amounts of Cash to pay in, and where Youngest had brought all his savings, wanting to exchange his twenties, tens and pound coins for lots of £5 notes.  This was because he wanted to be able to 'throw them all up into the air'.
As you do.
So we did that, and out came Youngest with £130 worth of £5 notes.  I managed to stop him from throwing them all up into the air before we got home, and also managed to get them out of his clutched hands, in case he dropped the damned things.
Into the Pet Shop we went, to get yet more rabbit food.  This is clearly for our  rabbits, two of them, rescued some years ago for the gasp inducing price of £200. At the Pet Shop they cost £25 each.
Long story, but due to having to have 'inspection' from the Rabbit Rescue Place where we had visited, after our dear old Milly the rabbit had died.  We passed this fearful examination.  I lived in agony for three days before the Rabbit Lady came, attempting to make our garden a Rabbit haven, and not the Dump Ground it had been for old lawn mowers, rotting furniture and rusting ironware...)
We were then allowed to pick up our rabbits from the Rabbit Centre, which was THIRTY MILES AWAY and then go and get a VAST rabbit cage as our one wasn't big enough.
Husband had very nice colleague at his work who didn't want her old rabbit cage (vast) and so off we went in a Rented Van costing £100 for three days to get the double rabbit hutch from FORTY FIVE MILES AWAY, ditch our old one, plus get the sodding rabbits, who cost £120 as they had been stuffed full of every vaccination possible known to Rabbit-kind, plus a Donation which quite frankly I felt like stuffing up the Rabbit Lady's dungarees.
Anyway, I digress.
So into the pet shop we went today, and while purchasing Said Food, had a conversation about Antlers with the sales lady, as you do.
Dogs rather like chewing the things, and in particular Antlers, and there were a whole lot of the rather sinister looking antlers for sale. Youngest listened earnestly while Sales Lady talked about how strong the necks were on Deer, owing to the Antlers, and how huge the Antlers were, and wasn't it amazing.  Clearly we agreed, and after another minute or two about Antlers and Necks and Dogs, we left.
'What next?' asked Youngest, as we dragged the Rabbit Food along the street.
'Co-op,' I said
'No, what's NEXT,' asked Youngest again.
'CO-OP,' said I again, loudly and clearly.
'No, Mummy, what's NEXT?'
This time I think I shouted it.  'CO-OP!!!!'
'No, Mummy, I said, NEXT.  What NEXT?'
Oh, my dear Lord Almighty.  If I had a choice I might have smashed my aching head against some nice thick concrete and achieved the blessed oblivion of the dead..
But I didn't.  Clearly I wasn't getting what Youngest was going on about.
So with an admirable display of Patience and Motherliness I asked him what he meant.
'Next'.  He said.  'Next.  What next?'
I wondered then about his sanity.  'We. Are. Going. To. The. Co-op.'
Youngest then spoke in Patient Tones as if to a moron. 'Mummy, NECKS.   What NECKS?'
Oh, Ker-ist.  Necks!!  It dawned, finally, like the promise of light at the end of a very long Tunnel.
'You mean the necks, with the antlers?' I ask with barely suppressed excitement.
'Yes!' he replied,  'What necks?'
And with relief and a fair amount of giggling, I explain that they are Deer Necks and very strong.
And with the odd chuckle from both of us, we enter the Co-op and continue our shopping.
Honestly, whatever next.


Expat mum said...

Ha ha ha. Bit like "four candles". Hilarious.
And where the bleedin' 'ell have you been?

Robynn's Ravings said...

And you're back! I didn't want to be back alone!

I've been gone so long I think I could have been legally declared dead but I've thwarted all that.

So GLAD to see that life continues on for you in your hilarious way! But dear LORD in Heaven that's a boatload of money to spend for a rabbit. I mean, did you ADOPT? Does it officially bear your last NAME?? Have you provided an inheritance? Surprised a cage was good enough, no matter how vast. I expected you would have to provide its own bedroom.

And I've seen the antlers at the pet store but they look so skinny and stone-like that I can imagine one of my dogs with one stuck down it's throat - or neck. With my luck, that IS what would happen NEXT. Glad to see you!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Oh, how lovely!!! this is like arriving at a party and there are your darling friends!! EM... I know, I know, been a bit long, but just couldn't seem to get to the computer to WRITE a damned thing. Glad to be back though!! And ROBYNN.... how AMAZING that you are back too!!! Legally dead, most definitely. SO glad you're not!!!! Hugs to you both, and wish we could have a long coffee with lots of naughty cakes and laugh and swap silly stories. xxxxxxx

Humdrum Mum said...

Très amusant. Good to see you back - from an Almost Dead Person too HMx

Troy said...

We've all been dying for you to return - and if that ain't the ultimate sacrifice I don't know what is!

Karen said...

I love the image of your youngest tossing fivers in the air, and the 'necks' mix-up made me chortle :o)

Ladybird World Mother said...

HM... oh, glad you're not dead either!! Isn't blogging wonderful to get back to... lovely to see you!xx
Troy- what a sacrifice...!! I am total crap at keeping up the blogging, but will try to get back here now and then. How are YOU? xx
Karen - I know, it was sweet... typical of Youngest. He always get the words mixed up! Congrats on your book.. brilliant stuff! xx