Monday, 10 January 2011

Neat and Tidy. Not.

Yesterday I very Carefully cleaned out a Wooden Box to put things into. Even lined it with paper, and left it, nicely waiting, by the back door.
Thought that I might put the children's boots into it.
Or maybe the dustpan and brush, used every flipping day to remove detritus from kitchen floor.
Or how about all the cat food, nice and tidy?
Fond thoughts of getting some sort of Order back into the house after the madness of Christmas.
Fond thoughts of getting some sort of Order back. Full Stop.
Only, when going to the back door this morning, to put Said Children's Boots into nice clean box, I find the cat, sitting in the box, weeing.
Not just a bit of wee. I can see it slowly puddling around the edges of the box, and starting to trickle towards the cat bowl. The paper inside the box has turned yellow and is starting to stick to the box.
'Terrific,' I say. To no one in particular.
And the Fond Thoughts of getting some sort of Order back into house after the madness of Life in General are forgotten, as I tip cat out, still weeing, and take box to end of garden and hurl at compost heap.
And back into the house I go, to clean up the Wee.
Which, of course, is the story of my life. As you all well know. Wee or Poo. With the occasional detour via Vomit or Blood.
Dammit. I was SO looking forward to that neat box containing something and creating a little bit of Order. Like Other People's Houses.
Back to Plan A.
Chaos.

19 comments:

Expat mum said...

No - not like other people's houses. I feel lilke posting photos of mine at the moment. Disgraceful. The dog has taken to sleeping on the pile of unpacked luggage.

martine said...

laughing out loud as always. sometimes wonder what the appeal of cats is, spend all my time picking clumps of fluff off the carpet, letting her in and out of the back door and listening to her miaow for more food. Piece of advice ... never never buy a beanbag, they feel just like kitty litter to any pussy!!
thanks for sharing
martine

Tattie Weasle said...

Soemtimes everything is against you even the cat - take it from me chaos is best!

Tatersmama said...

"Like other peoples houses"? Bwahaha! I'm sure that there "are" neat and tidy people out there somewhere in the world... but fortunately, (for my self-esteem of course)I don't know any of 'em.
Those 'gorgeous homes with those "everything in it's rightful place" magazine photos you see? Staged. Or a damn good cleaner anyway. ;)

June said...

Years ago I saw a plaque that I wanted to buy and hang in my house. I never did because it would have been an admission of defeat.
It said: Dull Women Have Immaculate Homes.

Lou said...

I'm right there in spirit with you honey! Very funny yet apt post. Naughty pussy. Talking of spirits I could do with a G&T. ... No.. no! NO! I need order. ... And less cake and alcohol ... and trifle, where there's both!

Yesterday I claimed back the room that has the delighful sign:
'Mumy Ofis'
If indeed it is Mumy's Ofis, why is everyone elses detritus in there?! Today I advance on the playroom. Playroom? ... Playroom?? What a joke, you'd have to be able to levitate to play in there.
**

[Oooooo just had a delightful Word Verification from your site: ERSENLIT.... I don't speak German but guess that it mean 'arse on fire' Must be a hint to get on with the cleaning]

geraldgee said...

Better than a guests left open suitcase.

family affairs said...

Bloody typical cat behaviour. Just what mine does. Plan foiled. Drink wine instead. Much better. Happy New Year. Lx

London City Mum said...

I have visions of you muttering under your breath and the cat going flying...

True?

Hope the rest of 2011 is more rewarding!

LCM x

Ladybird World Mother said...

EM - Oh, thank god... glad to hear someone else is a slut too. If you see what I mean...xxx
Martine - ewww!! Now that is good advice as was going to get one for the children's den!! Phew. Close call.xx
Tattie - chaos is at least familiar... don't know what I would DO with order! xx
Tatersmama - I so agree with you... and in that case I need a damned good cleaner... EVERY DAY! xx
June - oh, thank god. I must be a really REALLY interesting women in that case, as my house is a mess. Hooray!! xx
Lou - oh, how I would love to see you Mumys Ofis... how SWEET! And yup, we need levitation here too just to get into the damned hall. xx
gg -ewwww. What did you see in there?? xx
family affairs - I agree wholeheartedly... where's the bottle. Hick. xx
LCM - Muttering?? Probably quite loudly, perhaps on the shouty side. Was a Bit Cross. Box is still on the compost heap, looking at me (can boxes look?) as I go there armed with more used tea bags and old cabbages. Mine is an interesting life. xxx

Bluestocking Mum said...

I'm nodding. Tidy house, tidy mind. It never works.

Good to make your aquaintance. Found you thro ElizabethM.

Look forward to dropping by again

warm wishes
Debbie

Troy said...

It may take some while to compost - even with the cat's help.

Another Day of Crazy said...

Better the cat weeing in it, than the children I suppose.

In my world-

Plan A: Chaos
Plan B: Stiff Drink

Cheers!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Don't you just LOVE cats! Sorry LWM but that made me laugh out loud - you seem to have the knack. I could picture you neatly lining the box too and the cat obviously approved. It reminded me of the time my daughter's cat weed in my husband's shoe! He got absolutely no sympathy - he had been warned! A x

Mother Hen said...

Oh my god I just laughed so hard I thought I would need a pretty box lined with paper!!!

I have a Stylish blogger Award for you- I hope I am rubbish at links so here goes-

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VpyEEFR-Hsc/TTLTelEpFyI/AAAAAAAAAf8/Lkg6YJdLE14/s1600/stylishbloggeraward.jpg

Rules are on my blog if you fancy it. Happy New Year!

HER ON THE HILL said...

Just read your last three posts and you could have been describing me and my life - and my antics (or lack of them) around the blogosphere. Oh to have more time to read everyone - and to write more too. Anyway, glad I popped over - you make me laugh and feel that there is indeed someone out there leading my kind of life! But order would be very dull, wouldn't it?
x

HER ON THE HILL said...

Ps: and yes, I have fried my christmas pudding left overs in butter. Yum! Though this year the pudding got burnt to a cinder in the microwave - whole thing, including plastic pudding basin - had to be chucked out! Sad.

diney said...

Yes - with dogs and cats around in my house it's fighting a losing battle at times to keep it tidy! At this moment one of the dogs has leapt onto my knee and is makig this typing very difficult! And she has just dragged in a long dirty twig through the cat flat and left it on the clean carpet...... (she is small enough to get in the same way as the cats!)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Tidiness , like beauty , is in the eye of the beholder . If I can get from the kitchen door to the cooker via the fridge without tripping over something , it's tidy .