PE kit retrieval

Youngest is now 14.
This morning we hugged fondly as he made his way to the school bus.
'See you later, Mum. Love you,' he says, as he leaves the house. I wave and wave as he trudges up the drive and round the corner. I can still hear his crunching feet on the gravel.
The phone rings a few minutes later. It's Youngest.
"Oops. Have you missed the bus?" I say.
"No. But I thought it was Monday."
I think for a bit. It's Tuesday.
Youngest continues. "And on Tuesday it's PE."
Oh, dear, I think.
"What shall you do?" I ask. Our parental mantra is not to dash about and save the situation.
"Can you bring it down to school?" asks Youngest.
So I dash about and save the situation.
"Where's your kit?"
"Go into my room, " says Youngest. Which I do.
It's chaos. Clothes are scattered everywhere. Piles of them. I sigh deeply.
"My PE shirt is on the floor. Under a grey sweatshirt. By the chair. At the end of the bed."
I look on the floor. By the chair. At the end of the bed. I pick up a grey sweatshirt.
There's the PE shirt!
"Found it!' I say. "Where's the shorts?"
Youngest's deep voice (did I tell you his voice broke? He sounds like my dad now) tells me to go to the pile over by the window and look under the blanket next to the chest.
I go to the pile by the window, and look under the blanket next to the chest.
There are the shorts!
"Got 'em! Shoes?" I ask, deeply impressed by his chaotic order.
"Downstairs by the front door," replies my boy. "Next to the mat."
I thump down, two stairs at a time. There they are!
And cram the whole lot into a bag, and drive the 3.8 miles to school.
"Thanks, Mum," says Youngest, lifting the bag out of the passenger seat. "Love you."
"Love you too," I say.
And off I go home. PE kit delivered. Situation saved.
And a new sense of awe that despite the live ecosystem that is his room, Youngest can remotely direct his mother to locate and assemble a forgotten PE kit.
Impressive.

Wasp Mystery Solved at Last

It appears that we have some wasps in our kitchen. 15 or 20 seem to be having a right old time climbing up the window, sliding down and then climbing up the window again. I am having a right old time catching 15 to 20 of them as they climb up the window, and hurling them out into the garden, only to find 15 to 20 of them climbing up the window again.

WHERE DO THEY GET IN? 

Sat for several minutes staring at window yesterday, attempting to use peripheral vision to work out their entry point, as it were. Must have looked a little bit Special, sitting there staring so hard at nothing, one eye slightly out of focus and looking decidedly to the right. 

Heard buzzing! 

Jumped up and threw self towards area of sound. There was a wasp! Looked up, down, left, right.

WHERE DID IT GET IN?

Sat again. 

Stared at window again.

Buzzing AGAIN.

Leaped up again, and saw ANOTHER wasp, doing its thing on the window. 

Had brilliant idea that I could take video of window as I got on with something very useful.

Got iPad out. Spent some minutes setting it up. Put it on. Pressed little red button to start video. 

Brilliant, I thought. Saving lots of time! 

Went off and wasted lots of time, and then came back to watch video.

Watched blank window on video for 5 minutes. 

Right, I thought. Time for some action. 

Rang Pest Control at our local council offices. 

Kind lady explained that the wasps would all be dead by the end of November. 

Oh, I said. 

The Queen, she went on, had gone off to hibernate.

I hoped she wasn't talking about our dear Elizabeth.

All these other wasps would drop off slowly as it got colder. 

How much to get someone out? I asked.

£50, she said.  

And then I saw it. One dastardly wasp COMING OUT OF THE LIGHT FITTING! 

Aha! Gotcha!

Said brisk but fond farewell to kind lady from the council, grabbed chair under light fitting, and yelled to Middle Son to come and help. Made him stand on chair and remove light fitting.
Wasps.
Lots of them. Oozing out of light fitting and dozily careering off across the kitchen to climb up the window. More and more. Kitchen thick with buzzing.
Had most satisfactory time opening window and wafting them all out in the cold night air. The lazy ones who lay on the floor were swept up and thrown out too.
We are now officially a Wasp Free kitchen.
Now to deal with the rats in the chicken run.

NOTE: This was written a year ago last October. But I forgot to post it. And so I'm posting it now.