Friday, 9 November 2012

Mystery of the Disappearing Poo

Mystery solved! Cat thoroughly does business on bathroom floor. As we are about to leave for rugby with Youngest. Make sensible decision to leave until AFTER rugby as pushed for time. Arrive back from rugby (cancelled, so watched London to Brighton Old Car thing from rather nice cafe in Cuckfied.... beats hovering on edge of filthy pitch for two hours)
Get marigolds, disinfectant, bucket, hot water, knife (don't ask) and courage. Tell family that I am going up to deal with large cat dump in bathroom. Oh, they say, and carry on with the making of Yorkshire Puddings. Sensible decision.
 Arrive in bathroom. Place bucket on floor. Put marigolds on. Deep breath. ??????? No poo. Gone. Sniff carpet. (well... wouldn't YOU?) Scratch head. Sniff again. ??????? Where the HELL is the poo?? Clean as a whistle on floor. No sign of poo. Anywhere. ??????? Behind me there is a noise. Look round. Milo, our labrador, looking Very Guilty. And it dawns on me. He's flipping well eaten it. Every last bit. And may I just add that it was a particularly revolting one... not very well formed, if you see what I mean. (Are you still there? How lovely!!)
Took bucket, marigolds, disinfectant, hot water, knife and courage downstairs again. Told family. Who all went Ewwwwwwwww.
Poured Large Gin and Tonic. Raised a glass to my poo ingesting canine friend.
Sure gives Poop Scoop a new meaning.


Liz said...

This is why dog farts smell so bad...

Vicus Scurra said...

I read your dog's blog - it is full of his disgust at your drinking gin.

It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

Troy said...

Your blog ought to come with a warning "Do not read either after or during partaking of food".

Whilst my stomach turns I console myself with a vision of your guilty feeling dog wagging his tail then giving you are very affectionate lick.

Kathy G said...

I think I'd need alcohol, too.

Anonymous said...

Good dog! Deserves a pat on the head for saving you from cleaning up the revolting mess, yes?

Sir Bruin said...

If you don't mind me saying so, that is a crap story. I think you must have been just going through the motions.

Ladybird World Mother said...

!!! These comments made me chuckle. VS, how did you KNOW that Milo writes his own blog? Dog's Life... ?
Am deeply sorry for distress caused by the reading of this post...but sometimes good therapy is to write your pain away. So I did.
No more poo this week. At least, not as far as I know, because now that the evidence is eaten, there isn't much chance of finding it in the first place. If you get me.