Friday, 13 January 2012

Pee'sd off

Christ, have done it again.
Very Nice Man came round to fix the gutter, which had been ripped off during storms of late (causing much grief in night as one heard the bang bang banging of loose guttering about six feet away from head ALL NIGHT LONG).
Anyway.
Very Nice Man arrived with very long ladder and proceeded to go up very long ladder to wrench bastard guttering away from roof and replace with new. Hooray!
I hovered at the bottom of ladder while Very Nice Man shouted a lot from the top of the ladder. Most of which I couldn't hear, as he was face to face with roof, and sound was rather muffled.
Anyway.
Offered him some tea. Called for dog who was sniffing about. Dog came, and neatly cocked his leg and pee'd all over the Very Nice Man's tool box.
Ker-ist.
While Very Nice Man was still speaking I backed into utility room, which was conveniently placed just behind me, grabbed large wad of loo paper also conveniently placed just behind me, and made for the tool box, loo paper hidden behind my back.
Very Nice Man was still talking.
Bent over double quick, wiped back, forward, sideways and a quick flourish to finish, and made for the compost heap with what I hoped was a Nonchalent sort of walk.
Very Nice Man didn't have a clue.
Thought that I really ought to wipe it with proper antibacterial wipes, so went back into house.
But phone rang, I got distracted, and the next thing I knew was the Very Nice Man was at my front door with his tool box.
Bye, he said, cheerily.
Bye! I said back. Not looking at tool box.
Which was decidedly damp.
Oh, for God's sake, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE OWNED UP EITHER.

16 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

I am going to find him, tell him and get him to urinate on your clematis.

Liz said...

Ooops.

cheshire wife said...

Ignorance is bliss!

Ladybird World Mother said...

VS - !!! Just my clematis? xx
Liz- Ooops indeed
CW -Sure is, hope he never finds out, bless him.

Mother Hen said...

Have been there, done that but had to fess up as plumber was watching it happen too!!! Fortunately, the culprit was only a puppy so he thought it was cute.

London City Mum said...

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Only you.

LCM x

wonderwoman said...

I definitely wouldnt have said a word!!!!

Ladybird World Mother said...

MH - SO much easier when cute and a puppy... sigh. x
LCM - I know, I know... WHEN will I be a real grownup? x
ww - Thank god for that.. am not the only flake then! Phew. x

Ladybird World Mother said...

MH - SO much easier when cute and a puppy... sigh. x
LCM - I know, I know... WHEN will I be a real grownup? x
ww - Thank god for that.. am not the only flake then! Phew. x

Troy said...

Very amusing - and that was even after I'd worked out that "tool box" wasn't a euphemism.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Troy - have missed you! Tool box indeed. x

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Sir Bruin said...

I wouldn't have 'fessed up either.
On the bright side, it could have been worse.

trash said...

God has obviously sent you a message in that comment up there but I can't tell if it was promising vengeance or forgiveness.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Sir B - indeed it could, imagine box of eggs, yeurch. x
Trash - I know!! Am keeping very quiet in case he comes back. x

Catharine Withenay said...

You're right. I wouldn't have owned up.
Thank you for making me smile on a grey, dull day!
(And, given my recent experience with builders, I think I'd now be tempted to go and urinate on all their tools. At least you mopped some of it up!)