Sunday, 24 February 2013

A trying sort of a day....

The clock is ticking.  The house is quiet.  Everyone is in bed, except me and my mug of horlicks.  As I sip at the deliciously creamy warming drink, my socked feet curling up with pleasure, I sigh with the joy of solitude.  ALL DAY LONG people have talked and chatted, laughed and giggled.  And I have talked and chatted, laughed and giggled back.  Lovely.  But how lovely too, to be here in my silent sitting room, tapping away on these keys, while the fire crackles and mutters to itself, and the curtains are shut to the cold night air.
NOVEMBER!!!!  That's when I last tapped away on my last post.  Crikey.  A while back.
Christmas.  New Year.  January.  February.  Nearly flipping March.
Oh! Just loving the peace.
Had a somewhat trying day yesterday.  Mother in law here going off to Malaysia to visit other son.  Wanted to wrap up a sword to take on plane to Malaysia.
Don't ask.
Husband had kindly bought an ENORMOUS snow boarding case in which to pack sword.  About five feet long.  Two feet wide.
Sword is two and a half feet long.  About eight inches wide.
And so, yesterday afternoon, while the children were at school, and Husband was at work, we stuff the sword into huge yawning space of snowboard case.  Stand back.
A bit big.  We think.
Mother in law thinks we should bend the snowboard case in half.
I think we should put sword back in car and forget it.
Mother in law suggests binder twine.
I think we should put sword back in car and forget it.
Mother in law suggests putting other things in snowboarding case.
I think we should put sword back in car and forget it.
Mother in law repeats all the above quite a lot of times.
I go to shed.  Get the binder twine.  Put all sorts of things inside the snowboarding case that Mother in law passes to me. Bend the snowboarding case in half.  Sit on it.  Put binder twine round the snowboarding case and pull hard at binder twine until snowboarding case is shrivelled to half the size it was. Tie binder twine very hard.  Repeat at other end of snowboarding case. Get the label that has disappeared INSIDE the folds of the snowboarding case OUT, having undone half of the binder twine knots I had already tied, and put label back again, this time clearly visible to the naked eye.
Finally, it is done.
Stand back and admire.
Mother in law very pleased.
I wander off to the kitchen, thankful that the complicated exercise is now over.  Cup of tea time, I think.
Mother in law wanders in after me.
'I think that I may have left the other travel labels in the snowboarding case.' she says.
Start to unwrap the first bit of binder twine.
Mother in law insists that we don't do that.
But spends the next four hours wondering whereabouts in the snowboarding case her labels are. I know that the labels are NOT in the snowboarding case, as I got to know the inside of the flipping thing very well indeed.
After quite a lot of wandering about and 'I wonder if they might be in here...' sort of thing, finally the labels are found inside her handbag.  Hooray!  Duty done, I retire to kitchen to make some supper.
Mother in law enters into kitchen.
Could Husband bring into the house the gun cupboard that is in the car, although it might be a Bit Heavy.
Go out to car. Peer through the boot window.  In the gloom can see totally MASSIVE gun cupboard lying across the boot, while the back seat is down as the fecking thing is so huge it fills the entire backside of the car.  Weights LITERALLY a ton.
Sigh heavily.  Want to pound head against cool metal of car until I can't see, hear or think.
Go back inside the house and tell Mother in law that Husband can sort it out when he gets home.
As she starts to worry out loud about the gun cupboard being too heavy for the car and it might break it, I DON'T say that if it's that heavy perhaps it might not be such a good idea for Husband to stagger in with the bloody thing on his back.
Nor do I remind Mother in law that we already have a gun cupboard that has never been used because we Don't Have A Gun.
So, carry on with supper, offering Mother in law a nice big whisky and soda.
I pour rather a large one for myself too.
And together we raise a glass to each other, while shoulder to shoulder we prepare supper for the family.
Which is why, tonight is rather wonderful.  No one is wanting anything or asking questions about gun cupboards (yes, it IS still in the car and probably will be there until she returns in three weeks time) or searching for something that it seems only I can find.  Instead, the fire carries on crackling, and I carry on typing.
Mother in law is safely en route to Malaysia.  Everyone else is in bed.  And it's Just Me.
Sheer. Heaven.